The not so Fantastic Five
by UnbalancedTruth
Summary: Five very peculiar teens receive the powers of the elements. At first it seemed like nothing more than fun, but soon enough they come to realize that the plot holds much more than a parody to pass the time. It's a bit of a cliche, but bare with me - it's a laugh! Includes many manga/anime varieties, look forward! / Category based on current setting, will change accordingly / DMC!
1. Chapter 1, part 1

Inspired by a group of rascals. Enjoy !

This is a work of fiction and is in no way associated with real life happenings.

*Parts with more dialogue will be accompanied by names of the speakers*

*I will be adding multiple Japanese words into the story, though not overly difficult so think of this as a way of self-education*

* * *

**"The...not so Fantastic Five"**

**Chapter 1  
"It was supposed to be _just _Friday, damn it !"**

_"Fire is bright, strong, and takes control."_

_"Air is always moving and changing."_

_"Water is easily touched, sensitive, to a fault."_

_"Earth is the most persistent, consistent and sometimes rigid."_

_"Lightning is spontaneous, assertive, yet calm."_

Five teenagers.

All simple yet unique with a just tinge of mischief.

This is their story.

And believe me, tis a story to behold.

_Once upon a time...there was a group of five retards who just couldn't help but get themselves into a situation they couldn't even begin to think of handling._

_They really are retards._

_Well, I'm sure you're see for yourself soon enough._

"Akane ! Aoi ! Get your butts...WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TWO DOING ?!"

Two girls - roughly fifteen - one a fiery red, and one a calming brown, stood at both sides of an unsuspecting Koi pond with seemingly innocent expressions plastered upon both their faces that made you think they were both doing charity work. One would make the mistake of marking them off as simple, rule-abiding teenagers but...

The notorious duo - RED&BLUE - their name known well through the Kamiki Area, they were that one pair that everyone knew about but never dared to speak about. You always saw them around school, around the block but all you could do was stare at them in awe and hope that you didn't accidentally make eye-contact with either. You never knew whether or not they might charge you for it.

They weren't bad.

For heaven's sake, no.

They were _unique_.

"Yeah, yeah, gotcha. A-chan, we gotta go. Education and all."

Akane Yori, the bad girl with a spunky nature only rivaled by the brilliant red of her hair. The so-called rebel child though gentle deep down if you get to know her well enough. Doesn't show her good side to anyone but her closest friends. Known for her witty remarks and sarcastic retorts as well as her bright grin. Interpreted as a delinquent and more than enough as the more inclined troublemaker out of the duo. She isn't really. Really.

"Hai, hai ! Honestly, Aka-nee, stop molesting the fish, pun intended. They're decoration, nee ?"

Aoi Yori, the good child. She is known for her well-thought follow-ups and beautifully crafted smile. Regularly good-natured unless you get on her bad side. Ever heard of the the expression 'don't judge a book by it's cover' ? Well, Aoi was the one to add the newly appointed extension; 'or it just might devour you whole'. But make no mistake, she _is_ the good child. You just have to get through to figure it out.

"If I catch you around the Koi pond again..."

The woman that was currently positioned on the doorway, tapping her foot irritably on the hardwood floor was named Mitsuko and she was the mother, god bless her soul, of the two Yori sisters. What that woman had to put up with those two, you wouldn't imagine. But it didn't matter to her, because she knew, that despite all their tom-foolery...

"We're going, kaa-san. Love you."

"Stay safe and well-hydrated."

...they always came through in the end.

"Honestly, you girls, you're going to make me grow grey hairs."

"You don't need help in that area, bye !"

It was just harmless teasing, she knew that.

But that still didn't stop her from running over to the bathroom and examining for any grays. Those sisters just had that kind of effect. You knew they were fooling around, but you still couldn't help but believe their every word. Such was the way of the Yori sisters.

**-KAMIKI HIGH SCHOOL-**

Kamiki High School - known for harboring only the brightest of the bright and the best of the best. It's news has spread well around the city for having the highest passage rates and thus it was rumored to be the most influential school in all of Tokyo. It's students were top class and the faculty was premium. But I suppose that was only fitting for a school of this caliber, no ?

Actually, no.

That fame was really only skin deep.

The grade rating may have been high but in all aspects, the school was filled with - roughly said - complete and utter retards of the first degree.

Why ?

Well...

"Aka-nee, did you do yesterday's report ?"

"Ou, Ryuu and I both did our halves."

"You didn't meet up ?"

"We both had practice."

"That's too bad."

Narrowing her eyes, Akane carefully observed her sister's perfectly maintained smiling expression, making sure to nudge Aoi a couple of times. Sometimes, her sister was truly fear invoking. And she was supposed to be the bad twin. Highlight on the 'supposed'.

"You giant S."

"It's fun to tease him."

"Karma's a bitch, y'know."

"Karma can't keep up with me."

"AKANE! THE REPORT ! THE REPORT !"

A male, same age as the two sisters, blonde in hair and athletically built, shuffled across the floor over to the red-haired misfit. A frustrated expression, he then proceeded to place his hands on her shoulders and shake her all the while having a fit. One was all it took. Akane's palm flew up instantly, smacking the blonde upside his head.

Ryuu Yamada, or the rumored pretty boy. You name it, he's got it all. Blonde hair, blue eyes, bright features, really a pretty boy. He's got a bright personality that just seems to attract people and alongside his ditsy side, it blends in perfectly. So, of course you'd expect confessions flying from left to right. One problem though. He was never good with girls and the transition from Middle School to High School seemed to have just made it worse. God only knows how he ended up in Kamiki High School. Funny, ain't it ?

"Dude. The fuck."

"Maru ate the report."

Maru, as in the four fucking feet tall mutt that got taken in by Ryuu only a year ago.

"You've got to be FUCKING KIDDING ME."

"Aka-nee, you didn't let him explain."

"Don't try to be the mediator A-chan ! The goddamn report !"

What was she supposed to say at this moment ? "It's okay !" or "We'll figure something out !"

No. HELL NO. She worked on that report for three fucking hours...granting it wasn't really difficult, maybe lengthy - THAT WASN'T IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW.

"That is like the most cliche excuse ever !"

But she knew it was true. That damn dog would eat a friggin' horse if the chance revealed itself. She once saw him nonchalantly nibbling on Ryuu's head during one of his naps.

Ryuu shifted on his feet uncomfortably. Did she think he didn't realize just what kind of shit they were currently knee-deep into because of his leniency ? He knew it all very well. He may have well been an idiotic ditz, but he was no fool. He knew the situation of things and at this moment, the future didn't seem all that bright.

"Okay...I can work with this. I'll just have to call Kyon because there ain't a chance in hell I'm doing your report for you."

Why did he wait till now to tell her anyway ? If he put in any effort into calling her earlier, maybe they could've done this stress-free. Fucking lazy-ass. Probably did a shit of a job anyway. So when you think about it, things turned out for the best, right ?

But she was still pissed. Fuck him.

They still had a few hours before classes started so maybe they could make something happen under the right conditions. For starters...

"From now, Ryuu, you have no opinion in this."

Sorry dude, things have to be done and you're a fucking idiot who can't tell his left from his right in situations like these. Some people work well under pressure. Ryuu ? No. He'd rather piss his pants than actually try and do something to improve the predicament they were in. So, right now, he was no more than useless, quite literally.

Akane dug through her pocket for her phone and flipped it open, buzzing through the number of contacts decorating her phone book. You had to know how to organize and thankfully, she was raised to do so. It didn't take her long to locate the bolded words and thumb out the number, ultimately bringing the phone close to her ear.

The phone rung a number of times before finally connecting.

"You're slow."

"Sure. What do you need, Akane ?"

"I need you to come and help me out. Ryuu was a retard - "

"As usual."

"...and now we don't have his part of the report."

"Meet me in front of the school in 10."

"Alright."

"Oh, that reminds me, mind if I bring Akasuki along ?"

"..."

"Akane. Is it fine."

"...Fine. Asshole."

"Don't be late."

"Bye."

And disconnect.

Why Akasuki ? Why. Akasuki. Anybody was fine but around that girl, she just couldn't...

"Shit."

"I'm guessing it's done ?"

"Yeah, I guess. He said they'd _both_ be here in 10."

"Chibi-chan too ?"

You might be wondering why the nickname. Well, it wasn't exactly something Aoi preferred using but it was something she picked up from her sister when they first met the girl. It had a nice ring to it. Plus, it just pissed the girl off so much that she couldn't help but tease her a bit. It was harmless, wasn't it ?

Stuffing her phone back into her pocket, Akane let out an exasperating sigh. Akasuki. That girl was so exhausting. She was but...for some reason, Akane still liked her. She didn't know what the girl did to earn her fancy which was usually hard to earn but from the moment they met, ever since Kyon brought her along to one of their outings one day, things just seemed to click between them.

What was the reason ?

Snapping out of her thoughts, Akane felt her hand being pulled at by none other than Ryuu himself. What. So you grow a pair now ?

Oh right...they weren't supposed to be late.

Well, regarding that.

"A-chan, let's go get one of those rainbow sticks. That shit is heavenly."

"Pft, okay. What ever you say, Aka-nee."

"Come on, Ryuu."

"Aye, aye !"

**-FRONT OF KAMIKI HIGH SCHOOL-**

"Yo, Kyon !"

"You're late."

"Are we ? I had a last-minute sugar craving. Tough love."

"Yeah, yeah...Anyways, what did you need me for ?"

"Ryuu was a genius and let his report be fucked up by Maru. So I need you to...re-do it. Simple as that."

"How about no."

"Dude. Not cool. It'll be a favor."

"Under one condition."

"Okay, fine, now get to it."

"Ryokaishimashita."  
_Understood._

Kyon Tsubasa, a.k.a. the smart guy. Student Council president of his school purely for his bright nature and quick thinking when faced with a difficult situation. Known for having the most reasonable actions always backed up by a fool proof reason which might be one of the reasons why he was elected Student Council president. His grades aren't top-notch though it might be is unwillingness to do anything that causes them. Works well under pressure.

Playing it around in his head one more time, the brunette male nodded briefly to himself before placing a hand on Aoi's shoulder all the while looking at both Akane and Ryuu.

"You have it tough."

Sure enough Akane wasn't as obviously dim-witted as Ryuu but more than anything...actually, he didn't know what was wrong with her. Too bold ? No...that couldn't have been it. Straight-forward ? Trusting...? Yes, that must have been it. She was too trusting of people and therefore it made her naive.

No, wait, what was he talking about ?

Akane wasn't trusting.

Rather, she wasn't trusting _enough._

That was surely the issue.

"I keep thinking that you have it tougher than me."

Poking at his shoulder, Aoi made an effort to point behind his back to the brunette female snickering behind.

"Konnichiwa, Chibi-chan."

"Don't call me Chibi. I'm compact _at least_."

Pft. She was adorable. And so easy to handle for some reason.

"Yo, Akasu, how ya been ?"

"Akane !"

The brunette exclaimed cheerfully, buzzing across the terrain into the red-haired female's arms.

Akasuki Akiyama, the cute girl. Her long chocolate locks and big onyx eyes work only to excel her overwhelming adorableness not to mention her child-like voice soothing to every ear. Smaller in build, Akasuki has a bit of a phobia of people calling her short and therefore takes a morning supply of milk every morning in an effort to get taller. She has a strange liking for Akane, for whatever reason. Despite her soothing voice, her singing is downright horrible which is why she sticks to what she knows, which is word play.

Aoi; "For the time being, let's go out somewhere, shall we ?"

Akane; "Ah, ah, what's this ? A-chan, skipping class are we, eh ?"

Aoi; "I'm allowed one slip up, aren't I ?"

Ryuu; "OOH, guys ! There's this ice-cream shop I've been wanting to - "

Kyon; "Shut up, Ryuu. This is all your doing. Be thankful that I'm doing your dirty work."

Akasuki; "Hah, Ryuu, we'll go if you promise to buy me two scoops."

Kyon; "What a drag..."

Aoi; "Now, now, let's all get along, shall we ?"

Akane; "Not that that's settled, onward to adventure !"

Kyon; "OI, since when was this an - "

Akane; "Onward~!"

The went out with the best of intentions, having fun, of course. But what they didn't know was that, when outing escalated into something more, something they couldn't comprehend, it would very well change their lives and sadly, they wouldn't have much of a say in it, despite how much they regretted it afterwards.

But then that's all in the spirit of being a teenager, isn't it ?

* * *

This is a chapter of two parts, due to my excessive business, I've decided - with a little nudge from my friends - to make the first chapter into a two-part story.

The story does get _much_ more interesting so please do stick around some more, because, this is **only the beggining** of a never-ending superhero story.

Comments and reviews are much appreciated !

Haruhi-sama.


	2. Chapter 1, part 2

Inspired by a group of rascals. Enjoy !

This is a work of fiction and is in no way associated with real life happenings.

I have decided, after a considerable amount of though, that I will make this chapter into a three-part chapter. These three chapters contain all that I wanted to happen in the first chapter but due to a little bit of encouragement from my friends, this is the best way to go.

Please enjoy reading the chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

*This is a story not containing spoilers, for many of you fans wondering. I'm a good-natured person at heart, you see.*

*Parts with more dialogue will be accompanied by names of the speakers for example Speaker; "Text" and so. Take notice that dialogue will be large part of each chapter due to this being a comedy. This will not however decrease the overall quality of the chapter.*

I will be adding multiple Japanese words into the story, though not overly difficult so think of this as a way of self-education, nee ?

This took longer than I expected it to take but I'm hoping you'll be satisfied with the turnout.

* * *

***This just occurred to me but I figured as this will be a comedy, I should very well add little bits and pieces of the super-teens' lives into the mix. Think of it as leveling out with the sheer amounts of hero-y awesome you will be faced with. They will be written as gag scenes with zero seriousness.***

* * *

Akane; "Pft, Ryuu, what the fuck do you think you're doing ?"

Ryuu; "What does it look like Akane ? I'm doing homework."

Akane; "What is with that pose ?"

Ryuu; "It's a turtle pose. You squat down and take the turtle pose while laying on your back. It helps me concentrate. There's a saying that you can get much more done by imitating animals."

Akane; "But what's the point. Don't turtles usually die when turned over on their backs for longer periods of time."

Ryuu; "But I'm not a turtle. LOL, don't be stupid."

Akane; "Are you a retard ?"

Akasuki; "I think it's fun ! You get a better view of the ceiling"

Akane; "Don't join him !"

Aoi; "That's right, Aka-nee. Isn't it time-saving ?" *sinister smile* "Chibi-chan, let's play 'roll the ryuu'. Winner gets Aka-nee's rainbow sticks."

Akasuki; "AKANE'S RAINBOW STICKS." *doesn't know where she buys them and is therefore addicted to them* "You're on ! I'll be sure to beat you down !"

Aoi; "Be warned, you're dealing with BLUE ! I won't hold back !"

Akane; "Why my rainbow sticks ! More importantly - Don't roll him ! You know Ryuu gets motion sickness ! Chotto, omae-tachi - STOP !"

Aoi; *innocent smile* "I'm in the lead, Chibi-chan."

Kyon; *sigh* "What a drag..."

From that point on, Kyon started to doubt his choice of friends.

He didn't get much say in it though.

Because fuck him.

So who cares.

Onward with the story !

* * *

**"The...not so Fantastic Five"**

**Chapter 1  
"It was supposed to be _just _Friday, damn it !"**

**PART 2**

Kyon; "Guys, did you catch the new Beelze chapter ? It was so awesome !"

Akane; "Haha ! I was choking ! Oga never ceases to amaze me."

Apart from being straight A students and happy-go-lucky teenagers, did I mention this group of five had a strange obsession with Anime/Manga to the point where their lives more or less revolved around it ? Think what you like but it was only a little part of them that made them what they were; completely awesome bosses...who might or might not eventually rule the world in a group of five.

...Viva la Ice-cream day, I cheer.

AHEM, moving on.

Otakus ?

Sure, you can call them that.

Akasuki; "But you know, I think that he's softened."

Akane; "The hell Akasu ! Oga'd never soften. He's as hard as - a rock"

Aoi; "Pft, hentai Aka-nee."

Akane; "I MEANT A DAMN ROCK. Don't accuse me of things I didn't say out loud. Either way, Oga hasn't grown soft."

Kyon; "That's right, that's right. He takes after you two in that area."

Ryuu; "What are you guys taking about...I don't even..."

Akasuki; "Grown up things, Ryuu-chan."

Stopping in their steps, the two sisters looked at each-other curiously before ultimately laughing it off and joining the remainder of the group in their expedition for the ice-cream shop Ryuu mentioned in the last chapter. They did say that they had more important things to do - *cough* Correcting Ryuu's amateur mistakes *cough* - but after some considerate observation from Akane and Kyon and a well pointed-out fact from Aoi, they decided that maybe going for an ice-cream break - not like they were actually doing anything prior but shut up - wouldn't be as bad as they had originally planned.

Plus, it's not as if the remaining four of them would get in trouble for Ryuu's nonchalant attitude.

That was the fact that Aoi pointed out, to be exact.

Smart deduction I must say.

Akane; "Ryuu, you sure this is the right way ? I mean, I'm starting to think we've been walking in circles all this time."

Ryuu; "It's fine, it's fine. I'm confident in my leadership skills."

Kyon; "Yeah, sure, hope is a nice thing Ryuu."

Aoi; "Now, now, minna, let's all get along. I'm sure Ryuu-kun knows where we're going, right ?"

_"Beware."_

Aoi; "..."

_"Beware of the effects of the...*muffled sounds*...You're in danger...It's crucial...Beware..."_

Aoi; "...Did you guys hear that ?"

Akane; "Hear what ? I didn't hear anything."

Aoi; "No, I was certain I heard something. A voice of some sorts."

Akane; "Are you sure you aren't hallucinating ? It might be going to your head, A-chan."

Aoi; "...I must have been my imagination. It's nothing Aka-nee, no worries."

But what Aoi failed to notice was that they had all heard the mysterious voice calling out to them.

And that it was a voice foretelling a great disaster.

A disaster that was sure to change their lives.

They, however, didn't know this yet or they might have played their cards differently and saved themselves from a future they would certainly regret.

***Giotto's Gelato Shop***

Ryuu; "Ohayo, Giotto-san ! I've brought a couple of my friends along !"

All; "Ohayo gozaimasu !"

After Ryuu's fruitless attempts to lead the group, Kyon, the student council president - not to mention a committed sightseer - took over and came to the conclusion that Ryuu _had _indeed been driving the group in circles just as Akane had predicted and after coming clear to that little revelation, Ryuu, once more, lost say in the whole matter of searching for the shop and thanks to Kyon's careful conduction, they were able to arrive to the shop in the next twenty minutes. Thank goodness too. Any sooner and Akasuki was sure to fall into a sugarless rage. That girl needed her sugar fix but unlike Akane and Aoi, who were perfectly trained in controlling their sweet tooth, Akasuki wasn't as experienced and was therefore forced to rage for her sugar craving.

The five made their ways through the doors, Akane staying behind to make sure they were properly closed before joining her friends in their conquest for the ultimate flavor of ice cream.

Aoi; "This is a difficult choice."

Akasuki; "Umu, it has to be the perfect taste or it just won't cut it. But fear not, this is where my skills reach their peak ! Mister, bring me to the ice-cream !"

After having her request fulfilled, Akasuki then motioned for Aoi and Akane to come over for she would need a great deal of assistance in order to find the perfect taste to fit their taste buds and for that, she needed the best of the best and the two Kamiki students were just that. Sugar monsters, they were capable of catching whiff of quality sweets even at the greatest of distances. They were really the best at what they did. And Akasuki herself wasn't half bad, being able to discern between a number of different tastes with complete ease, something even a top-class food taster would have trouble with recognizing. No wonder she was always the first one to reach the front of the food lines. It took skill and what's more; practice, both of which all three girls had in great amounts.

Akane; "This is the ultimate stare down, guys."

Akasuki; "O-ou...This is a tough one..."

Aoi; "Don't worry, you two. I'm sure we can overcome this difficulty."

Kyon; "Will the three of you stop staring through the glass ? You're troubling the shop-keeper ! Plus, I don't get what the big deal is, it's only sugar."

Akane; "Silence mortal ! Thou who knows not of the mighty sugar's magnificence should dare not speak in a voice unfitting of it's presence !"

In short, shut the fuck up, you don't know what you're talking about, prick.

Ryuu; "Guys ! It's okay !"

All four turned towards the blonde's direction at the same time, anticipation in their eyes.

Ryuu; "We can just flip a coi - "

Punch.

One precise right hook in the chin was all it took to take the blonde down.

...punch, punch, punch.

And another additional three because she just felt like it.

Stretching her shoulder, Akane stared down at the blonde with a cold glare enveloping her usually bright features.

"Korosu, teme."  
_"I'll kill you, prick."_

Asshole.

He very well deserved the punch...es.

"Osoroshi, Aka-nee."  
_"Fear-invoking certainly."_

Her sister was capable of making a grown man cry and fall to his knees _easily _if her anger reached to a certain point.

Not one to mess with.

That, for sure.

After careful observation and many questions directed towards the shop-keeper about the location from which he got the ice-cream, whether or not he knew what ingredients were used to make it, what the refrigerator's temperature was as of this moment and many other questions that honestly all just sounded pretty much pointless and just downright troublesome to Kyon, the girls finally came to the same decision of taking the one that sounded the most fool-proof and all in all delicious; Tooty Fruity.

Akasuki; "Phew, that was a tough choice. I'm glad we made the right one in the end."

Akane; "That's because A-chan was right to explain all the faults with simple hazelnut ice-cream. You really can find it anywhere. Tooty Fruity is hard to find after all."

Aoi; "It was nothing really, just simple deductions. The smartest choice was Tooty Fruity."

Kyon, holding his one measly scoop of bitter lemon ice-cream, could do nothing but stare at the girls' sugar obsession.

What was with all the immense decision-making concerning only one shitty flavor of ice-cream.

Something you could eat every day and find in every corner of every street.

There really was no _need _for the cliche not to mention overly-excessive suspense over just ice-cream

He liked lemon.

So he bought lemon.

Just that.

But according to Akane and Aoi; "One does not simply 'just pick something'."

Was the easy way out never an option for these girls ?

Or was he just the ignorant one.

No, that couldn't have been it.

Because he was Kyon, in the end.

* * *

After all...four...finished their well-earned batches of ice-cream, Akane was the first one to stand from the table and approach the shop-keeper, Kyon following in her steps shortly after.

He had said that under no circumstances would he be forced to pay anyone's bill, despite the fact that they were friends.

He did pay in the end though, God knows why.

The ice-cream was _wonderfull_ and the three girls couldn't have enjoyed it more even if they tried. Even Kyon had to admit he wouldn't mind going for a second scoop at the moment but right now, there were more important things to take care of. After Akane took the liberty of socking Ryuu right in the jaw and taking away his ice-cream rights after he woke up, she took it upon herself to make sure he had the report finished. It was ice-cream after all. The least she could do was guarantee a good grade for the blonde, if nothing more.

See, she wasn't that bad.

Akane; "Thank-you for treating us, Giotto-san !"

Kyon; "Even though I was the one who paid."

Akane; "Shut up. It's courtesy to thank the shop-keeper. Plus, it was only one scoop, you cheapskate."

Aoi; "Now, now, don't fight, you two. You can have you lovers' quarrel later."

Akasuki, after having went to the little girl's room to wash her hands of the fruity goodness, came back to the scene of Ryuu drooping over Kyon's shoulders in a depressed matter, the look in his eyes that of a dead fish.

...What ?

"What's with him ?" She questioned, getting closer and poking one of the blonde's cheeks. No reaction. This might have been mean of her to think but, it was kind of funny.

"He's just pissy because I didn't let him have any ice-cream" Akane remarked with a straight face, not paying any mind to the blonde looking up at her with revengeful eyes.

Just dare and try something, pretty boy.

"Pft." Yes, she was making fun of him. And no, she didn't care. You can call it evil, or whatever, she called it **fucking retribution**. From her point of view, he deserved everything he got.

Or maybe he just pissed her off.

Whatever - they were friends and in the end, she never thought any truly bad of him.

Ryuu, the happy-go-lucky pretty boy.

She hated to admit but he was always there to brighten the mood and although she knew none of her friends would admit it openly, they all thought the same.

"Heh, no worries. I'll treat you next time."

And with that, the 'argument' was settled in less than a moment. Food had mystical powers that were capable of many things more than enough times not comprehensible to the human mind. No one could fight that fact. She knew from first-hand experience.

"Okay guys, since Ryuu's part of the report was finished..."

Her mind drew a blank.

"Aka-nee ? Are you okay ?"

The red-head blinked once, shaking her head abruptly.

"I...I'm fine..." Narrowing her eyes, Akane felt her vision getting blurry but she'd be damned if she let any of her friends in on it.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

This had happened this before. She could remember. Back when she and her sister had still been young and innocent, nothing like they were now. She remembered...This was a bad omen. A premonition of something bad that was about to happen. Of something...that none of them had control over. And maybe that was what frightened her the most.

She was getting weak in the knees already. Since when did a little wooziness succeed in taking her down ? She was strong. She could take this.

"Aka-nee ? Hey !"

Or maybe not.

"I'm...fine."

Suddenly, she felt her whole body go numb to feeling, to the point where she couldn't even sense her surroundings, her vision blacken considerably and her feet lose themselves underneath her frighteningly overwhelming weight.

The last thing she saw was Aoi desperately flinging herself towards her way.

Ah...she had made everyone worry again.

She had fucked up again...

Shit.

But she knew she had felt something the moment before she lost all connection to reality.

Something bad was going to happen soon.

Something of considerable danger but also value...to all of them.

And she would make sure that, if anything were to happen, they would definitely be the ones to get the last laugh.

And Akane could only speculate but somewhere deep down, she felt, that each one of her friends had sworn the same.

And that is why she knew; They would never lose, no matter the opponent.

_What exactly happened to Akane ?_

_Who was the bearer of the voice that no one but Aoi seemed to hear ?_

_What was the bad premonition that they had all felt ?_

_And what did Akasuki **really **do in the little girl's room ?_

_Find all of this out in the third part of **"The not so Fantastic Five"**, chapter one.__  
_

* * *

The first chapter is finished.

I like the way this chapter turned out. :I

Though there is room for improvement.

But remember, we still haven't even gotten started with the funny parts.

This is just the gang in their regular retardation.

Imagine what will happen when they get their powers ?

Because I honestly can't.

I didn't plan for it to go into two parts but I'm happy I was able to finish this in the time that I did.

This was an extremely fun chapter to write and I hope you'll continue reading this ever-so exciting story.

The story does get _much_ more interesting so please do stick around some more, because, this is **only the beggining** of a never-ending superhero story.

Comments and reviews are much appreciated !

Also, any questions that you may have with this chapter, since it was considerably confusing, or if there were some parts you didn't fully understand, don't be afraid to ask. I love explaining different things to people. Think of it as a favor to me, nee ? 3

Haruhi-sama.


	3. Chapter 1, part 3

Inspired by a group of rascals. Enjoy !

This is a work of fiction and is in no way associated with real life happenings.

I have decided, after a considerable amount of though, that I will make this chapter into a three-part chapter. These three chapters contain all that I wanted to happen in the first chapter but due to a little bit of encouragement from my friends, this is the best way to go.

Please enjoy reading the third chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

*This is a story not containing spoilers, for many of you fans wondering. I'm a good-natured person at heart, you see.*

*Parts with more dialogue will be accompanied by names of the speakers for example Speaker; "Text" and so. Take notice that dialogue will be large part of each chapter due to this being a comedy. This will not however decrease the overall quality of the story so rest assured.*

I will be adding multiple Japanese words into the story, though not overly difficult so think of this as a way of self-education, nee ?

This took longer than I expected it to take but I'm hoping you'll be satisfied with the turnout.

* * *

***This just occurred to me but I figured as this will be a comedy, I should very well add little bits and pieces of the super-teens' lives into the mix. Think of it as leveling out with the sheer amounts of hero-y awesome you will be faced with. They will be written as gag scenes with zero seriousness.***

* * *

**Kyon's predicament**

Akane and Aoi were on their way home back from a rather uneventful day of school when they happened to walk in on the most peculiar of scenes.

Akane; "There's this new ramen shop that I wanted to visit."

Aoi; "We should bring everyone along. Ah, that reminds me, Kurogane-san asked me if I could give him your number."

Akane; "And you said no, right ?"

Aoi; "...Maybe."

Akane; "Well good, because Mimasaka asked me for your number and I gave it to him. Have fun with your newest stalker. Tough love."

Aoi; "Aka-nee...that."

Aoi said while pointing forward where a few feet away a familiar face stood squatting, petting a stray cat that had somehow wandered off it's initial path all the while wearing one of the most happy grins either of the girls had ever seen.

Akane; "Dude...is that Kyon ? It couldn't be Kyon - AMAGOD. THAT'S KYON. Hurry ! Take pictures !"

Aoi; "Already on it."

Around at this time was when the brunette noticed he was being watched.

Kyon; "..."

Akane; "What's wrong Kyon, eh ?"

The two girls approached the brunette, both smiling from ear to ear.

Aoi; "What were you doing, huh ?"

Kyon; "...This is all a dream~ You see nothing~ Now turn around and leave the premises~"

Akane "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ! This is fucking priceless !"

Aoi; "I've got it all on video. High five !"

Kyon; "Goddammit you two ! Keep it down !"

Akane; "Why don't you introduce us to your new friend, yeah cat-lover-san ?"

Kyon; "I am nyot - I mean **not **a cat-lover. And it is **not **a new friend."

Akane; "Of course you are nyot."

Aoi; "Sure, you are nyaaa-t a cat-lover."

Akane; "We believe you nya~!"

Kyon; *Sigh*

Kyon really has it tough, doesn't he ?

Because RED&BLUE have always been merciless when exposed to every and any kind of weakness.

But then again he deserves it for not knowing the true value of quality ice-cream.

Onward with the story !

* * *

**"The...not so Fantastic Five"**

**Chapter 1  
"It was supposed to be _just _Friday, damn it !"**

**PART 3**

They say you're supposed to thank God for each day of life he has bestowed upon you with a good deed for every healthy day you live through because as the saying goes, 'Life is a gift not an earned right'.

See, now, this particular group of five didn't exactly live by those regulations nor did they strive towards them.

You know how every person's got a motto they live by ?

They don't.

No motto.

No motive.

No anything.

Simply living each day as it passes, not even to it's fullest.

Effortlessly letting each possibly special moment pass by right in front of their eyes without even flinching let alone lifting a single finger to maybe do something about it, to change it for the better - To make the moment special on their own.

Happiness was skin deep.

What each person searched for deep down was satisfaction, recognition, a sense of knowledge that they had done something in their lives that deserved to be noticed by someone - that they had left a trace on humanity for years to pass. However, not many people had the leniency to do that - to achieve something in their short life spans. Which is why they desperately held on to each moment with a hope that something might be born from it.

Unlike our five heroes.

To say they didn't care would be an understatement.

They didn't even seem to notice each short-lasting moment pass them by.

Maybe this was their punishment.

Who knows.

All that is known is that, once something has happened, there is no turning back.

And that is exactly what our five heroes would come to learn soon enough.

But, as said before, there would be no turning back.

***The Yori residence, early morning***

Gentle streaks of sunlight streamed through the cracks of the window, landing on a certain red-head's face. Moving a hand over her eyes subconsciously, her eyes flickered open a few moments later. It took her a few moments to register where she was but once realization kicked in - and it struck fiercely - she hopped onto her feet but before she could utter a single word, the doors to her room slid open revealing Aoi clad in nothing but her morning attire.

Moments passed with nothing but stares of confusion exchanged between the two twins.

You know how it's rumored that twins have telepathic abilities to speak to each-other through nothing more than their expressions.

Well, that was _almost _completely true but there were certain faults that required more than glaces to cover up.

Sitting back onto her bed again, Akane gestured for Aoi to join her.

She needed an explanation and Aoi was just the right person to ask for such a thing because she knew her sister would provide her with the highest of quality follow up on yesterday's occurrings.

Aoi nodded and without a single word, joined her sister on top of the incredibly comfortable bed right in the line of sunlight.

Akane; "I passed out again yesterday, didn't I..."

A rhetorical question, one no need nor want of answering.

Aoi; "Ryuu helped me carry you home."

Akane; "A-chan, something bad is gonna happen. I just know it. I can feel it."

Aoi; "I know. I can feel it too. I think everyone can."

Akane; "We're in for a hell of a ride, huh."

Aoi; "Haha, I guess so. But that's not a problem for us, is it ?"

Akane; "Because we're RED&BLUE after all."

Exchanging a grin with her sister, Akane stood up once again, this time stretching her body whilst her sister took the task of making her bed for her.

Aoi; "Kaa-san isn't up yet. We're forced to fend for ourselves."

Akane; "Then you go wash up and I'll get the rice cooking. Omu-rice is okay, right ?"

Aoi; "Hai, hai, now shoo. I still have to finish making the bed."

Akane; "Alright, Aoi-sama. I'm here to submit to your beckon call."

Aoi; "Should we invite Ryuu for breakfast ?"

Akane; "As thanks. On it."

With a two-finger salute left to her sister, Akane made her way downstairs, firstly to the phone to phone a certain someone that she had neglected to say thank-you to.

She might have been slightly rough around the edges but that didn't mean she forgot her manners.

Quite the opposite, they were with her always, at all moments, no matter what situation she was in.

She punched out the numbers and brought the phone close to her ear.

Ringing...ringing...rin -

Ryuu; "Yamada residence."

Akane; "Ou, it's me. Are you free now ?"

Ryuu; "Akane ? Yeah, I'm free. What for ?"

Akane; "I'm making breakfast and I thought since you had to drag me home yesterday and all, as sorry I cou - "

Ryuu; "I'm there in ten minutes."

Akane; "Not even letting me finish the sentence, huh asshole ? See ya in ten."

Saying their goodbyes, both sides hung up.

Akane bore holes into the newly redecorated amber-colored walls, speculating on all of the possible situations that could have very possibly be coming their way.

But what was about to happen soon never crossed her mind even once.

I mean, defying the laws of logic and sense was not an area where a regular human usually dared to step into let alone question it's validity.

***Yori residence, thirty minutes later***

After minutes of pondering, the red-head ultimately decided on inviting the whole group over.

If they were going to discuss the recent events, it would've been better if all were present.

She had called them around thirty minutes ago and after time uselessly spent in watching Ryuu destroy the omu-rice she had made, with a ring of the doorbell, all of the five were assembled. Leading the two through the seemingly endless hallways of their home, Akane briefed them in on why they were called out of their homes so suddenly. They both looked interested enough.

Good.

That meant she didn't have to dilly-dally around trying to convince them all to listen.

Because she really wasn't that patient.

The only resolution to really cross her mind other than immediate agreement was her forcing them down to behave.

She was ready to pull the leashes out.

Having seated them all to their respective places of the tatami mat, Akane sat down next to Aoi.

Akane; "I think you all know why I brought you here."

Kyon; "What's with the deep wise man voice ?"

Akane; "I'm setting the mood."

Aoi; "Shouldn't it be in a duo ? Wouldn't that be better ?"

Akane; "We didn't have time to discuss on a possible duo."

Ryuu; "Oooh, a duo ! That would totally suit the atmosphere more !"

Kyon; "That's besides the point. I thought you called us here to talk about serious stuff."

Akane; "I did."

Aoi; "Should I start, Aka-nee ?"

Akane; "You've got the first line anyway."

Aoi; "As you all know, Aka-nee passed out yesterday while we were all out. But what you don't know is; this is not the first time this has happened."

Akane; "When A-chan and me were younger, we didn't use to be like we are today."

Silence.

Deafening, heart-throbbing silence.

Akane; "As you saw yesterday, I passed out. A short while later, our father died."

Again, silence but this time it was broken by Aoi.

Aoi; "We don't know why, but Aka-nee's reactions usually foretell a big, sudden change in our lives. But this time, it's not just us."

Akane; "The changes usually effect the ones closest to us. And now we have you guys."

Kyon wasn't buying this.

He wasn't buying it one bit.

They were friends and he trusted them immensely, but his doubt was valid, wasn't it ?

I mean, how was he meant to believe some sap story that may have well been thought up on the spot.

Call him a skeptic, but we wanted proof.

They could all see the more than obvious doubt showering Kyon's features but neither Aoi nor Akane decided to say anything on the matter.

If he wanted to believe them, he could.

The fact of the matter was that, he was sure to be affected, whether he wanted to believe them or not.

It was all on him.

But what they were preaching was no lie, sadly.

It was very much the truth and Kyon would only realize the error of his ways for not trusting them when it was too late to change anything anymore.

Aoi; "It's your choice whether you want to believe us or not. We're just telling you what we know."

Akane; "FUCK. You're difficult, Kyon. You know I don't bullshit about things like these."

But it was all in vain.

Once Kyon has made his mind up, there was really nothing that could prove him otherwise.

Thankfully both girls knew how to give up without a shred of hesitation.

If he wasn't going to trust their word, okay.

Whatever.

They could live with that.

Akane; "Okay, moving on. Since today's Saturday, you guys wanna go our somewhere ? You know that new ramen shop that opened recently ? Some o' the guys from our class said it was good. "

Ryuu; "Ramen-ya !"  
_"Ramen shop !"_

Aoi; "Hai, hai...Ramen-ya desu. Minna wa ii ?"  
_"Yes, yes, ramen shop it is. Is everyone okay with that ?"_

Amatsuki; "Ii yo."  
_"I'm good."_

Kyon; "Maa...watashi mo."  
_"Me too I guess."_

Akane; "Sore ja. Ikuzou omae-tachi."  
_"Then that's that. Let's go you guys."_

Aoi; "Shumpatsu desu !"  
_"We depart !_

***Aomame Ramen shop***

Akane; "I don't know how you can eat like that Ryuu."

Ryuu; "It's all in the technique. You gotta have the correct technique."

Akane; "...I bet I could take you."

Kyon; "Here we go again..."

Aoi; "Don't be such a sour puss."

Akasuki; "That's right ! Don't be such a stick in the mud."

Kyon; "What does that expression mean anyway, huh, Akasuki ?"

Akanei; "It means don't be a fucking douche and piss my mood."

Akasuki; "Exactly !"

Akane; "Shoubu da, Ryuu !"  
_"It's a battle, Ryuu !"_

Ryuu; "Wait, I gotta prep first."

Aoi; "And I need to get my phone out. I'm filming this."

Akasuki; "And after that, I'm gonna arm-wrestle with you Kyon. You're going down !"

Kyon; "What a drag..."

You might be wondering why the brunette always says that.

There's no particular reason, to be completely honest.

It was just something that stuck to him after years of reading Naruto.

Seems harmless, doesn't it ?

Not really.

He may have meant it as a joke but what Kyon didn't know at the time was that this had been the 17054862nd time he had said that line and that, saying that line would affect his life gravely.

Do you believe in ancient spells ?

They exist, and are in effect to this very day.

The doubtful ones.

They are the ones that are effected by these spells and there's usually nothing one can do to retaliate against them.

Maybe this would teach Kyon not to be such a sourpuss and maybe enjoy life some more.

But then again, none of them really knew how to live their lives.

***Some time later, town plaza***

Akane; "Phew, that was some fight !"

Ryuu; "Damn you...You got me on the last bowl..."

Aoi; "Never underestimate the power of Aka-nee's appetite."

Akasuki; "Ahahahaha, Ryuu is a sore loser !"

Kyon; "Ryuu...I'm disappointed. I thought you were better than this."

Akane; "Ooooh, buuuurn !"

Akasuki; "Call the fire brigade 'cause Kyon is on fa-iyaaah !"

Aoi; "Pft. Alright, where should we go next ? It's only morning. That went by faster than I thought it would. Maybe we could - "

Ryuu; "HORSESHIT !"

All four turned sideways at the same moment, catching Ryuu's expression. He was standing on one foot, swearing under his chin while he tried desperately to regain his balance. His sneaker was literally covered...in shit. Aoi took a step back, Akasuki put a hand over her mouth, Kyon face-palmed and Akane only stood, staring at one of the most retarded scenes any of them had ever seen.

Aoi; "Oh..."

Akasuki; "My..."

Kyon; "God...*sigh*"

Not saying a word, Akane then proceeded to dig through her pockets before taking out her phone.

She slid in open and while Ryuu was busy trying to wipe his sneakers off, started taking continuous shots of the same scene, over and over again.

Akane; "This...just may be...the most genius thing I have ever seen."

Ryuu; "Shut the fuck up !"

Silence befell the group for a moment, filled only with Ryuu's nonstop complaining when all of a sudden...

Akane; "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !"

Kyon; "Could you be any more stupid."

Aoi; "I don't think so."

Akasuki; "He could make the Guinness book. "

Ryuu; "Shut up and help me !"

Akane; "Pft, fuck off. I ain't touching that shit. Hah, shit...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA !"

This time all of them joined in.

Just the very scenery of Ryuu standing there, trying to keep his balance lest he step in it again was enough to break down all walls of seriousness, even Kyon's.

This scene continued on for a few minutes and when Akane noticed they had started drawing a crowd, she stopped laughing abruptly.

Akane; "Ryuu, you're a retard."

And that was all she was going to say on this topic.

Any more and things could've really gotten bad for all of them.

She may have been a lot of things but an attention seeker was not one of them.

But she _was_going to post these online.

There was no doubt in that.

Like I said; she was a lot of things and what kind of person would she be if she didn't savor this moment for all it's worth.

Something that priceless deserved to be shared.

Aoi; "Alright everyone, let's go, the plaza's near."

Ryuu; "I swear Akane, if you post that online...I'll - "

Akane; "Hai, hai, hai. Just you keep talking pretty boy. You ain't gonna do shit."

Akasuki; "Baka Ryuu, we all know you're no match for Aka - ".

That was the last thing Akasuki said before she suddenly disappeared from view.

Aoi stopped, pulling on Akane's sleeve to make her stop too. Akane tapped both Ryuu and Kyon's shoulders in an effort to stop their movements.

Akasuki; "How...did this happen."

The smaller brunette exclaimed in frustration, pulling herself off of the ground and into a sitting position.

What happened; While Akane was too busy telling Ryuu off and the two remaining were equally as occupied observing the interaction, they failed to notice the man hurriedly coming their way, obviously on his way somewhere. Akasuki was the only one who noticed but unluckily, before she had the chance to react and move out of the way, the man had stumbled into her, causing her to lose her stepping and fall face first, hitting one of the statues meant there for decoration before ultimately hitting the ground, causing the deafening snap that the whole group had heard but failed to recognize.

Aoi; "There's blood."

Akane turned to face the man that was, after picking up the papers that had flown all over the place, already back on his feet and ready to leave the premises, apparently without even as much as an apology.

And she couldn't have that.

Certainly not.

Akane made to grab his hand, accidentally pulling to fiercely and dropping him to the ground once again.

She didn't regret it however.

One bad thing about Akane; she lost her temper very easily.

And when she did...Well, things never went prettily for anyone.

Akane; "Hey prick."

Take notice that this was a man, at least a decade older than the fiery red-head.

Of course that didn't matter to her.

Do I even have to mention ?

Akane; "How about I take that foot and shove it up your ass ? You think you can get away without even apologizing, HUH ?!"

The man flinched.

He was stumped as to what to say.

Technically he was in the wrong but still, that girl, that was no way to speak to an adult.

However, he just couldn't bring himself to say anything.

Why that was so, he didn't know.

All that he knew was; something just compelled him to not retaliate against the girl.

Something just told him that contradicting her would be the only thing he shouldn't, wouldn't or even couldn't do.

To be completely honest, this was a first for him.

The thing to snap him out of his daze and his uninterrupted gazing into the girl's yellow eyes was the taller brunette out of the two - most probably the girl's sister - who had come from behind, placing a hand on the man's shoulder.

Aoi; "It's a bad idea to argue with Aka-nee. Believe me, you could never win."

He didn't doubt it.

Akane; "Your face pisses me off."

No need to be so blunt...I mean sure, he knew he wasn't the most attractive person in the world but to go that far was a bit...

Akasuki; "It's fine Akane. I'm fine. It's just a little blood."

Akane; "You know you want to sock him in the chin too."

Maybe she would have, if Akane wasn't there.

Akasuki; "That's beyond the point. I'm fine, really. You don't have to go that far for me."

Akane; "Tch...fucking piss me off...Here."

She held her hand out to the man, pulling him onto his feet once more.

Later it was found out that his name was Kisanagi Shouta, a college graduate and that this was his first time in Tokyo so he couldn't really find his way around town.

Aoi; "Didn't you get informed, Kisanagi-san ?"

Shouta; "Ah...no...I didn't imagine Tokyo would be this troublesome. I'm a country bumpkin, you see. I have a hard time finding my way in big cities like Tokyo."

He stopped himself, took a deep breath, then turned around and bowed down to both Akasuki and Akane.

Shouta; "I'm sorry ! I didn't mean to trip you. I was just in a hurry. You see, I have a new job and it's required of me to be present today. It's a Saturday but I have some documents to sort out so I was looking around town for instructions."

Akasuki; "If it's instructions, then we would be more than happy to - "

She was stopped mid-sentence by Akane's hand restricting her words.

Akane; "I'm not as soft as Akasuki nor am I as forgiving. You see, _Kisanagi-san_, my friends and I were on our way out before your unorganized attitude disrupted out carefully planned schedule."

It wasn't like that.

More like they made plans along the way and if things didn't turn out the way they originally planned, well, then they'd just have to deal with it.

But that didn't matter at the moment.

She had a point to prove and it would be proven.

Akane; "You're perfectly fine, on your own, aren't you !"

There were many sides to Akane, but this side she got from her sister.

Frightening...to the point where you couldn't go against her.

You couldn't even look her straight in the eyes.

Those yellow, unforgiving eyes.

Aoi; "That is true. As much as I'd like to help you out, Kisanagi-san, this is technically your fault and although I may not look it, I do keep grudges. And your fussiness was what cost our friend an injury."

Kyon; "I'm with the twins on this one. We don't have time to help out some person we just met and I don't really have the patience. You're just gonna have to manage without us, Kisanagi-san."

Ryuu didn't say anything.

He felt that, if he were to say anything, all his point would be negated and he'd end up dejected in the end again.

Akasuki; "Uh...Ah...O-okay. If it's what you guys feel is right then...I'm sorry, Kisanagi-san. But it seems like my friends don't really like you."

Pain.

Akasuki was a sweetheart but when she struck, she usually struck where it hurt the most.

Shouta; "I-I see...That's understandable I suppose. Then..."

Another polite bow from the raven-haired adult and he was off, as hurriedly as he had stumbled into them.

Honestly, this was too much trouble for a Saturday.

***Town Plaza, community park***

After all that trouble with that pathetic excuse for a man, the group figured some relaxation was in order and what better way to relax than to visit the community park. It was known for the flowers decorations every bit of it's soil which is exactly what made it so appealing to both children and adults. It consisted of a playground, forest area and a cafe situated nearby, where adults got a chance to rest from their children which were left in the care of the park mascots.

Ryuu and Akasuki; "We're back !"

The blonde and smaller brunette hurried over, both holding drinks in their hands. They had volunteered to buy the drinks when the five of them came here because the mood the three were in wasn't delightful at all.

Was it because of that teacher ?

Or was it something else entirely.

Akasuki; "Akane and Aoi had the Sprite, right ?"

Akane; "Ou, suman na."  
_"Sorry for the trouble."_

Aoi; "Sankyuu, Chibi-chan."

Ryuu; "Kyon, you had the Coke, right ?"

Kyon; "Do you even have to ask, Ryuu ?"

This might strike you as weird but, Kyon was a bit of addict when it came to Coke.

You could say it was his energetic supplement.

It kept him up and running at all times.

A Kyon without coke and none of them would have a good time.

Kyon; "That guy was weird."

Aoi; "I didn't really like him."

Akane; "He pissed me off."

All three took a sip from their drinks at the same time while Akasuki and Ryuu were left to observe.

What in the world was wrong with these three ?

They were usually the ones who controlled themselves.

Why were they so out of character now ?

What happened while they weren't looking ?

Ryuu; "You three are weird today."

Right to the point as always.

Ryuu cracked open his Fanta and sat down next to Kyon on the bench so the only one who remained standing was Akasuki.

Akasuki; "That right...Did something happen ?"

Kyon; "Nothing happened."

Aoi; "What would make you think something happened ?"

Akane; "Nothing at all."

Ryuu; "Bull."

Both Aoi and Akane stood up but Kyon remained seated, silently sipping on his coke.

Maybe that was the thing keeping him calm.

Aoi and Akane; "It's nothing."

Then something happened. It was unbelievable.

Aoi and Akane; "Watch out !"

It happened too fast for anyone but the twins to notice but by the time they did, it was too late.

From both sides, friggin' projectiles flew at them, hitting them both.

They both continued standing for a few moments before collapsing under the sudden pressure of the hit.

Akane; "FUCKING SHIT."

A guy.

In a panda suit.

Did he just punch her ?

Did he really just punch her ?

Did he want to die ?

Akane; "I'll kill you."

One word was all it took and already the red-head was on her feet, sprinting after the surprisingly agile man in the panda suit.

What the fuck.

Who goes around town hitting unsuspecting high-school girls ?

Akane; "I'll fucking kick your ass, pri~ck !"

Back where the group was, they were all too busy examining the weapon used to take out Aoi.

A banana.

A banana just flew at her.

A banana.

Really ?

In what messed up world does a banana just happen to fly at people's heads ?

This was definitely not normal.

Aoi and Akane; "I've had enough !"

At that moment, all time seemed to stop for the group of five.

Nothing was moving.

Nothing was living.

They were completely alone, on this wast world we call Earth.

What happened next, they could only imagine in their dreams because this wasn't something you saw without blinking twice and questioning your sanity.

In one short moment, the whole world shifted for the unsuspecting teens.

They had become what every human dreamed about somewhere deep in their subconsciousness.

They had become...

**| THE ELITES |**

* * *

_From that point on..._

_Everything changed._

_They were no longer just high-school students._

_But then again...it's not like they were JUST high-school students, even from the start, right ?_

* * *

The first chapter is finally finished.

I don't like the way this chapter turned out.

Though there is room for improvement.

But remember, we still haven't even gotten started with the funny parts.

This is just the gang in their regular retardation.

Imagine what will happen when they get their powers ?

Because I honestly can't.

I didn't plan for it to go into three parts but I'm happy I was able to finish this in the time that I did.

This was an extremely fun chapter to write and I hope you'll continue reading this ever-so exciting story.

The story does get _much_ more interesting so please do stick around some more, because, this is **only the beggining** of a never-ending superhero story.

Comments and reviews are much appreciated !

Also, any questions that you may have with this chapter, since it was considerably confusing, or if there were some parts you didn't fully understand, don't be afraid to ask. I love explaining different things to people. Think of it as a favor to me, nee ?

Haruhi-sama.


	4. Chapter 2

Inspired by a group of rascals. Enjoy !

This is a work of fiction and is in no way associated with real life happenings.

I do not own any of the varied anime/manga details mentioned in the story.

The last chapter was a little more serious than I'd have liked it to be but that was basically the overall introduction of the story.

I expect this chapter to be a lot more interesting than the last three for a great number of reasons.

It will certainly be funnier.

Makes you think, eh ?

* * *

**"The...not so fantastic five."**

**CHAPTER 4  
"An unusual guest...or is that us ?"**

* * *

**"You might be wondering why I brought you here."** Said a voice echoing from behind, forcing the group of fire out of their state of utter and complete brain seizure.

_"It's that voice again !" _However, this time Aoi wasn't the only one to have it tugging at the back of her head like an annoying woodpecker. Honestly, any more of that useless nit-picking at her thoughts and she would have gone teen psychopath. You'd be surprised as to what a delirious Aoi was capable of doing. Fucking scary is all I'm saying on the matter.

"Damn fucking straight I'm wondering ! The fuck is with this void." Akane seethed, gritting her teeth, partially in agitation and partially in just pure confusion. Just the sheer amounts of anger coursing through her veins, bubbling deep down, they were enough to paralyze a damn horse if used as vaccine. "You're probably tryin' hide your ugly-ass horse-face."

**"Now that's not polite."** Said a voice from behind.

Okay, now this really wasn't funny.

It wasn't fucking funny.

**"Please calm down."**

Calm down ? This little horseshit wanted her to _calm down _?

How in fuck's sake was she supposed to do that ?

The last thing any of them remembered was an immense number of _things _being thrown at them before the world just went dark.

For all she knew they could've been kidnapped now by some lonely searching-for-a-friend-but-failed-and-hates-the-world super market employee that had reached his limit and decided to kidnap and rape the first kids he laid eyes on that were kind of easy on the eyes, and already under a heavy dose of LSD, crystal meth or which ever the fuck hypnotic drug caused these shifty voids in her eyesight.

"I agree with my sister, anonymous-possible-child-rapist-san." Aoi jumped in rationally and rather _calmly _considering the predicament they were in, raising her gaze upwards to the direction the voice was coming from. "If you want us to listen to you, I'd suggest showing your face. My sister and I can be quite stubborn." On that note, the voice let out a heartfelt laugh echoing through the empty space before his voice reached a more humanly recognizable tone now falling dully against the air.

Now they were talking.

"Is this better ?" The now fully comprehensible chuckle of a man chimed across the...room (?), now assuming a deeper tone of voice, breaking though the silence that had unluckily befell the group.

All five turned around instantly, albeit some begrudgingly after Akane's little note-along. None of them were idiots - this scenario was apparent and only an inexperienced otaku could misplace it for something other than what it actually was. According to the situation they were currently in, if their jurisdiction was correct, they were about to be faced with _the talk_ about how they were somehow different from regular humans and because of that they had a certain role they had to fulfill. Now see, this is where the dilemma came to light; what kind of awesome story for future generations to tell would this be if they were faced with an ugly-ass man for a mentor. At least they speculated this much. He was the put them in this messed up situation apparently, and he _did_ look like he had something to say - probably an explanation as to why they were here - so...mentor, right ?

Ryuu was the first one to crack open an eye while the others stood with their eyes tightly shut, hopeful.

What he saw witness to didn't fall short of surprise.

A man, lightly-shaded obviously bleached messy blonde hair falling just below his eyes topped by a shabby-looking fisherman's hat that only succeeded in curving the blonde teen's smile wider. He wore a long, old-fashioned green kimono, stretching down to his ankles while his feet sported elevated wooden flip-flops. To top it all of, both hands stood grasping a wooden cane that came to support his balance against the ground. Well, assumed ground. Who knows what they were actually standing in. Imagination went a long way but I'd rather not explain the colorful pictures flowing through Ryuu's mind.

He swallowed deeply, taking in a big breath and filling his lungs with air that he would undoubtedly need to convey this little piece of revelation.

"Dude. He looks like Urahara."

Instantly Kyon's eyes cracked open and as soon as they did, his jaw dropped in blatant surprise.

"You've gotta be shittin' me." Out of character, maybe, appropriate, very much fucking so.

Akasuki's amber gaze was the next one to widen in shock. When Ryuu said he looked like Urahara, he wasn't kidding. For a moment there, she had doubted his words despite the certainty he had said them with but now that she thought about it, what retard could really commit the sin of mistaking a man such as Urahara Kisuke. Any idiot with at least the half amount of brains required to function properly knew who the man was. Which is why, when she took a better look at him and saw that his features didn't fall short of the actual Urahara Kisuke, she couldn't help but let out a quiet squeak of excitement.

Think about it for a bit.

Urahara Kisuke, quite possibly in the flesh was standing only a few feet away.

Any person in their right mind would lose it no doubt.

Aoi was the next one to witness the pure awesomeness that was Urahara Kisuke with her own eyes.

Wow, they _really_ weren't kidding, were they...

"Aka-nee, they're not lying. He really does look like Kisuke-san."

"Ain't lookin'." She just couldn't face the fact that someone she had felt such an immense flat out detest for could turn out to be someone so awesome.

"Now, now, don't be stubborn, Akane !" Akasuki exclaimed with a smirk, creeping up to the red-head and grabbing her waist from behind.

This then caused a chain of reactions that I'd rather not explain but ultimately ended up with Akane falling flat on her face right by the man's feet.

She instinctively looked up but instantly regretted it.

Urahara Kisuke, sadly, in the flesh.

"I'm...a fan..." Never said with such disappointment and just sheer displeasure with the outcome of this situation, Akane proceeded to drag her feet back towards her group which were in return all grinning cheekily at her. Even Kyon had a smile the size of Cheshire wrapped around his lips.

Assholes.

Didn't the saying go 'don't rub salt in one's wounds' ?

But, of course, such regulations didn't apply to her friends.

She couldn't complain - she was the same, after all.

Slightly distraught by this whole situation, the man gestured for their attention which he got instantly.

"Uhm, if I could speak now, that would be convenient."

He was faced with silence which he took as cooperation or in the least bit temporary agreement.

"Again, you might be wondering why I brought you here." He started but was soon after interrupted.

"I bet we're a special race of super-aliens meant to save the world." Akasuki proposed.

"Hmm...I'll place my bets on something our ancestors did and we have to fix." Aoi added after a moment of consideration.

"There's an item that vital for the world's salvation and we're the only one's who're capable of obtaining it." Kyon reasonably conjured.

"I ain't gonna bet anything. With the way my day's going, I'm prolly gonna lose and get dumped in a pool of lard in the process." Akane lashed out irritably.

"I'm going with the old-fashioned solution; we're super-heroes with awesome super powers and we're supposed to save the world." Ryuu ended smugly, folding his arms, satisfied.

"PLEASE LISTEN WHEN I'M SPEAKING. JESUS." The man lost his nerves for a moment but quickly got them under check and reverted back to smiling idly at the group, waiting for them to get their shit under way. His patience had it's limits and these kids were testing it.

"Fine, God. No need to get your panties in a wad." Ryuu pointed out, quite offended at the fact that the man had been the one to interrupt them.

Oh, no, wait...he had something important to say or something, right ?

Alright, back on track.

"Go on." Akasuki added at the end of Ryuu's nod of approval, adjusting the creases in her skirt. It had gotten really messy in all this fussing around and she just couldn't have that. As the self-proclaimed lotus flower of Kamiki High School, she needed to look her absolute best, at all times. You never knew who happened to be staring with a lecherous grin taped to their mouth. Reputation was mandatory.

"Panties..." The man ultimately decided against arguing with the blonde, or defending himself in general. He would undoubtedly lose and his feeling would probably get hurt too. Damn kids, they were learning the ways of grumpy old folk too soon. Just the sheer number of obscenities was enough to make him back down.

Ah, youth...was what he would settle for, or they'd never get this problem resolved.

"Now, this might be a bit long, but please bare with me - DON'T FALL ASLEEP BEFORE I'VE EVEN STARTED MY STORY."

Ryuu and Akane's heads shot up, distaste clear on both of their expressions.

"You suck !"

"You're not as cool as Urahara !"

"Go home !"

"Suck on a bread stick !"

"We don't like you !"

"Boo !"

"Stupid potato-head !"

This continued for a bit and only when he realized they were no where near finished, Kyon stepped in to possibly salvage the little bit of assumption that maybe they had a brain that was left.

"We don't need any long stories, Urahara-look-alike-but-obviously-not-as-cool-san. We're busy teenagers. We've got homework to do so cut to the chase." He said blatantly with absolutely no regards to what the man may take from this. It wasn't any of his business, right ?

Ergo, he didn't care.

Simple enough.

The man narrowed his eyes substantially, musing on these five teens.

The nickname changed.

Why did the nickname change ?

Rubbing his temples, the man sighed in exasperation once more, but more than thankful for the brunette's seemingly reasonable request. His cane tapped the ground twice, getting the group's attention once more. Hopefully he would be able to make it remain that way for a good five minutes.

"Now, I will repeat myself again; you might be wondering why I brought you here." He took a deep breath, mentally reassuring himself in his decision. He had made the right choice by doing this. He was sure of it now. "Today has been an awfully eventful day hasn't it ? Not just the day, the whole week has, for each of you, am I right ?" On that remark, each teen's eyes widened in an unnoticeable fashion, shrinking down into silence once again. For some reason, something told them they were required to hear this, on their behalf. "To be completely honest, I was the one who caused that." Akane's shoulders tensed in frustration, but she remained silent on the warning of both Aoi and Kyon. She didn't need to start anything..._yet_. "I realize that the notion may have been a bit extravagant now but please bare with me. It was needed. Each of those happenings, they brought your already unsteady minds to their edge and the mishap in the park was just the trigger. It set off a chain of reactions that ultimately brought you here, where you are now. In a sense, I didn't do a single thing."

"That still doesn't tell us anything on why we're here." Kyon intercepted once more, his patience being strung to it's limit. He really wasn't one for listening to a man ramble on about something that didn't concern him. He was losing his will to listen and it was happening in an unusually fast time.

"I'm about to get to that part. Have some patience." The man warned him with a deeper voice, earning a raised eyebrow out of both Aoi and Kyon. Akasuki, Ryuu and Akane still remained quiet.

Now, this is where the difficult part lay.

"Now see, this didn't happen to you by accident." Nothing ever does, because there were no such things as coincidences but he was sure these kids knew that. After all, _they_ were the ones to be chosen. "You're special - not intelligence-wise, though I'm sure it could be counted in the process. No, what I'm talking about is something...almost unreasonable, unbelievable. You _are _humans, there is no denying that fact. However, to say you are _just_ humans would be an understatement because...well, you're nothing like regular humans. You posses something that no regular human would ever dare of dreaming of. Each of you posses a special power. I know this may come as a surprise to you, and I know it may sound ridiculous but please believe me when I say that - "

"FUCK YES." Ryuu spoke up, a grin smugly decorating his features as he took two precautionary steps in front of the rest of the group. "I FUCKING KNEW IT." He proceeded in the same cocky tone of voice, waving his hands around in a mocking fashion. "I. KNEW. IT."

"Fucking shit Ryuu." Akane added to his last words with a laugh, looking at both Aoi and Kyon. "Looks like he was right."

What a surprise.

Kyon put a palm to his face, shaking his head slowly as he did so. "You've got to be kidding me. Super powers. That's got to be the most cliche excuse ever ! I mean, super powers, really ? Who gets super powers these days. You're completely out of your mind, old man. I expected more from you. I'm disappointed." Aimed at the Urahara-look-alike who, in all honesty, was stumped on the teens' reactions to this situation. What child would react in such a nonchalant, almost _expected_ nature ? And what's with the 'disappointed' bit ? Didn't they meet like, maybe five minutes ago ? Sometimes, he really couldn't understand how children of this day and age thought. "You could've been more creative." Kyon continued to complain, obviously placing all the blame upon the old man.

It's not as if he chose to do it this way.

It's just that certain circumstances deemed this way necessary.

There was no need to be all stingy about it.

"Honestly, Urahara-look-alike-san, a bit of creativity wouldn't have been bad." Aoi added in leniently, with a serene facial expression but ultimately waved the topic off her interest book. She should have seen this coming. Obviously Akane did.

"Pft, I don't give a fuck. I didn't lose shit in this bet. What did you bet on anyway ?"

Silence.

"Ryuu, you're a retard."

Of course, he didn't bet on anything.

Of-fucking-course.

And Ryuu was the only one capable of doing something so rash.

You first stake your claims, then you place the bet.

Everybody who was anybody knew that.

Pft, Ryuu, you really are a retard, no shit.

"Are you finished ?" Already used to the teens' little notions, the man swept a lock of blonde off his features, revealing magnificently emerald eyes. "I'd like to continue with my explanation." Aoi motioned for him to continue so, clearing his throat once, he raised his gaze to stare at each of the teens individually. "Earth, water, air, lightning and fire." His eyes met with each of the teens', each glistening with their own peculiar shine. Kyon's almond, Akasuki's amber, Ryuu's auburn, with just a tinge of red and the Yori sisters' clear yellow, resonating. "Those are the powers each of you has been given. Earth...Ryuu." How did he suddenly know their names ? They didn't remember telling him anything...or did they ? "Water...Akasuki." The two teens blinked, gaze falling down to the ground, or more precisely, to their hands. That was usually the place where stuff happened, right ? Everything came from the hands...fists ? Whatever. "Air...Aoi or if you'd prefer, BLUE ?" The brunette smiled generously at the man, placing a hand on both Kyon and Akane's shoulders. "Lightning...Kyon and lastly Akane - fire." The male brunette and red-head looked at each-other simultaneously, the other's face a clear reflection of confusion.

"What..." Akiane started, a bit lost in the flow of the conversation.

"Lightning..." Reaffirmed Kyon, a smile hiding itself behind his stoic features.

"Is this what they call...a shoujo romance ?" Aoi's mocking voice popped into both of their ears.

"Chotto...romance ? Don't kid me. I ain't no shoujo character."

"I wasn't talking about you."

"Very funny." Kyon remarked dryly, rolling his eyes in obvious annoyance. Who did they take him for ?

The man couldn't help but laugh at the last one.

Really, these kids...there was no stopping them, obviously. But even he was able to grab their attention, even if for a fried moment.

A smile threatening to smear across his face, the man raised a hand, spreading the palm and cracking his fingers, this action forcing the teens to sneak a peek, once more. This man was a tricky one to handle. Eyes widened, they couldn't help but stare in awe. Five fingers, each tip decorated with an element of it's own. As the man had said; earth, water, air, lightning and fire, each fluttering gently across the air just above his finger tips. They were used to this...they were used to it but...Seeing it in real life was a whole other deal.

"Each of you will learn how to do this in the brief time we will be staying here. I've got things to do, I'm also a bust man, you see. Now..." This time, he couldn't hide it; a smile, curving his lips from ear to ear showed itself to the teens, catching them by surprise. "Who wants to learn how to use super powers ?"

A tricky man indeed.

Indeed.

"Fucking show me now. Bitch, Imma fire your ass to the ground."

"OHMYFUCKINGGODPOWERSHURRRDUR RR."

"UIHFSPDFEBWATERRRRRRIKUHGDIK SGF."

"Heh...what a drag."

"Haha ! I suppose we're in for a ride, aren't we ?"

_And with that; a spark was lit._

_A spark of hope._

* * *

Wow...writing this chapter took a lot more time than I originally wanted it to but I'm glad I finished it on a Saturday. Haruhi-sama's got shit to do, y'know ?

You might have noticed I left out the comedy skit at the beginning. That's because I'm saving an interesting one for the next chapter. Look forward to it ! Nyahaha !

Anyway, I hope you're happy with the result because I have to say I am.

The story does get _much_ more interesting so please do stick around some more, because, this is **only the beginning** of a never-ending superhero story.

Comments and reviews are much appreciated !

Haruhi-sama.


	5. Chapter 3

Inspired by a group of rascals. Enjoy !

This is a work of fiction and is in no way associated with real life happenings.

I do not own any of the varied anime/manga details mentioned in the story, as much as I would like to.

I hate myself for being so slow.

GAH !

I should get my shit over with.

Thank God for the winter break. Any more school and I might've just evaporated into little bits.

Also, there's one thing that I wanted to point out; last chapter I accidentally wrote 'chapter 4' but it was in fact the second chapter due to the fact that the first chapter was separated into three parts. So, this chapter is officially the third chapter. I'll try to not let these kinds of little details slip, but if I do, please do remind me.

Now guys, this is where the story gets interesting, in a number of different ways. I was flooded by ideas the last few days so I'm pretty confident that I can make something out of this. It started out as a story I wanted to write just for fun, you know, a gag story with maybe a couple of chapters but after careful consideration and much plot remaking, I've decided to make this a thing.

Anyways, enjoy this chapter !

* * *

**"Revelation"**

"Ryuu, what are you doing ?" Aoi asked with a quizzical look, gazing down towards the blonde who was happily ready to embark into the process of eating his lunch.

"What does it look like; I'm eating. Well, I was _going to_, until a certain _someone_ decided to ask me a bunch of questions." Ryuu remarked, his cheeks puffing up in a slight pout of sorts. What in the world was he trying to accomplish ?

"She only asked one question, idiot. Have some manners. It's not your house." Kyon intercepted quite audibly all the way from the comfort of the couch while fiddling with his pencil. He had been stuck on this task for a while now. The finals were near. There was studying to do and while good results were already more or less a sure fire, one could never be too certain.

"It's not yours either !" Ryuu whined, adding a number of colorful words not suitable for young ears at the end.

"The fuck are you guys doing ? What's with all the yelling ? Akasuki and I are trying to prepare lunch." Akane stepped into the room, a distinguishable scowl planted on her gentle features. She was to prone to frowning. Her sister always told her it was bad for the skin and that she would turn into one of those old ladies that tormented little kids in their old age, but did Akane listen ? No, she warmly welcomed the idea. Little kids pissed her off anyway.

A certain something catching her eye, the feisty red-head maneuvered across the hardwood floor steadily, shadowing over Ryuu's frame. She reached down, grabbing the item from Ryuu's hands and holding it up. "Taiyaki(1) ?" Looking up, Ryuu stood from his seat, nodding slightly at Akane's remark. "Mm, there's this new shop that opened near our school so I wanted to go see it. It turns out the shop's taiyaki is quite good."

Staring at the fuming taiyaki for a few moments, Akane didn't hold back but decided to help herself when she skillfully took a bite out of the taiyaki's head, letting the warm bean paste trickle down her throat. Before she could continue to enjoy the miniaturized bliss, the taiyaki was stolen from her and returned to it's original owner. Fufu, you're no fun, Ryuu. The blonde looked across towards the red-head, a cold glare decorating his usually bright features. He stayed silent for a few moments before finally...

Ryuu; "You're supposed to eat it from the head !"

Kyon; "That's what you get mad for !?"

Aoi; "Now, now Tsuma-kun(2), relax. I'm sure Ryuu-kun wasn't being serious."

Ryuu; "Of course I was ! You're not supposed to eat taiyaki from the head ! Everyone knows it's the tail ! The tail !"

Akane; "You're specific in the most retarded of places. Dude, I'll eat it's head if I wanna."

Akasuki; "HEAD ? GUYS ! THAT'S NOT HEALTHY ! Well, it kind of is because the brain has a lot of nutrients and all...but wait, that's not...THAT'S NOT THE POINT. EATING HEADS IS BAD."

Kyon; "Taiyaki."

Akasuki; "Oh. OH. Good then. I was already starting to doubt my choice of friends ! Silly me, tee hee !"

Akane; "Eat shit."

All four remembered Akasuki's little slip of the tongue. Stupid honesty at it's finest.

Also, did you guys notice that Ryuu always has the newest scoop on the food shops that open in town ? I don't know. I didn't plan for this. It just kind of started out that way and Ryuu became the 'guy who always knows the hot places'. It it cause he's blonde ? A pretty boy ? Popular with the crowd ? Don't know. Anyways...I've decided to stick with this little revelation. Yes, for once, the title had nothing to do with the comedy skit. Sue me.

**_Little Japanese dictionary; _**

_Taiyaki(1)_ - _Taiyaki is a Japanese fish-shaped cake. The most common filling is red bean paste that is made from sweetened azuki beans. Other common fillings may be custard, chocolate or cheese. I tried a taiyaki in New York once since they had lots of Japanese shops stacked next to each other in different parts of town. It kind of stuck to me because it was unique, not to mention incredibly delicious._

_Tsuma-kun(2) - Now, this is play on words from the side of our ever so witty Aoi-chan ! Tsuma-kun was originally taken from the word tsumaranai, meaning boring but instead of sticking to the textbook terms, Aoi decieded to make it more funny by shortening it and adding the suffix -kun at the end. Don't we all love mocking nicknames ? I know I do._

* * *

**"The...not so fantastic five."**

**CHAPTER 3  
"Is it really _that_ important ?"**

"Now that you've all come to terms with the fact that you're not regular teenagers..." The Urahara impressionist remarked slowly, eyeing both Akane and Ryuu, making sure they wouldn't interrupt him again. Once he was certain no such intentions were present among the group, he continued after an attentive cough. "I would like to explain some things in order for you to fully grasp your new found powers. Using them at this point is ridiculous, especially you three." He sent a warning glare towards Ryuu, Kyon and Akane, pointing at them with raised eyebrows. "Your powers are the destructive type. Using them could cause a disaster. The same goes for you two." His glare this time centered at Aoi and Akasuki, he shook his head. "Although your powers are generally the gentle nature, don't underestimate them. They can be just as destructive as the other three if handled improperly. You five need to realize something right away otherwise we will never be able to move on." He paused for a slight moment, taking note that everyone was listening to his words of warning. "Your lives will never be the same again and it's very important that you understand this right away. You will not be able to nonchalantly go to school every day without a care in the world. There will be many people aiming to take your lives for various reasons. You have to be aware of this. Although I can't fully explain it to you now, your lives are of utter importance. You mustn't go around leniently wasting them." Stopping himself, he noted the deafening silence surrounding them, only succeeding in deepening the tense atmosphere spread in the air. He wasn't surprised. They were just kids after all - of course they couldn't -

Akane; "Suits me just fine."

Kyon; "I was getting bored of the daily life anyway."

Ryuu; "Does that mean we get to travel ?"

Akasuki; "I feel kind of like Naruto !"

Aoi; "Haha, it's indeed becoming exciting."

- take it...Urahara's gaze sharpened abruptly, noticing the slight changes in the teens' expressions. From the seriousness that had befallen them, their eyes showed excitement he had only had the pleasure of seeing once before - when his team had first been introduced to him. He found himself smiling throughout the feeling of nostalgia spreading in his chest, before he snapped out of it and redirected his attention to the five teens once more. There were many things he needed to teach them.

"Now, I will proceed to explain each and every power in as much detail as I can but I'll keep it short. I can't reveal too much or it takes away the excitement of revealing things yourself. Are you prepared ?"

Akane "Get on with it already." The two teens retorted back, forcing another laugh to escape the older's lips. These kids certainly were a mouthful - but he couldn't say he disliked who he was stuck with.

"Okay. I'll keep the explanations to a minimum. Each of you possesses the power to reign over one of the nature's elements. Depending on how you control this power, the outcome and limitations and just bare skill may vary; you might only know how to light a match but at the same time you might know how to control your powers to their utmost limit. The possibilities are endless." He readjusted his position to face each of the teens straight on before continuing in the same manner. "My skills are limited. I can only teach you so much but I will try to explain things as understandably as possible so please listen intently. First, we have Electricity, the power to freely control any type of electric substance, be it a toaster or the wild lightning that surrounds the skies. Second, we have Earth; the power to control all earthly substances from cutting leaves in half to separating mountains to your liking. Third, we have Air; the power to have all the earth's air at your beckon call, from a slight breeze to calling forth a violent storm if one sees fit. Fourth, we have Water and as the name implies, it's the power to wield the element of water around your little finger from playing with water bubbles to separating seas at whim. And fifth, we have the nature's wild element, Fire able to set ablaze the very earth we walk on. The strength of your power and how you use it all depends on the wielder himself. The nature of your personality will determine the nature of your element, as will it for the rest of you." He paused once again, clearing his throat with a cough.

Akane; "So what you're trying to say is; whether or not our power sucks, it depends on how we use it."

Urahara; "Exactly."

Aoi; "The nature depends on the wielder..."

Urahara; "Yes."

Kyon; "Which means we're free to use our powers however we like."

Urahara; "Yes. Well...not exactly."

Kyon; "Then explain it better. You haven't even told us what we're supposed to do here. I'd like to go without the additional useless details and just tell us what we're doing here."

Urahara; "Hm...well, I can't tell you everything just yet but let's just say that you have to save the world and it's absolutely vital that you take this seriously."

Kyon; "That explains nothing."

Urahara; "Good things come to those who wait."

Kyon; "Stop being so cheesy. It's stupid. This isn't a fairy tale."

Akane; "It's obviously a manga."

At that note, the five burst into laughter at the same moment, causing a flinch out of the Urahara poser. He honestly doubted he would ever get used to these teens. But he supposed he would have to, because they would be seeing a lot of each other in the future. He let out a cough to catch the teens' attention, clasping his hands together to indicate he had another thing to tell them.

Urahara; "Okay, enough about that. Now, I have some things that I have to teach all of you, so this might take a while. Be prepared."

Akane; "Pfft, who do you think you're talking to ?"

Kyon; "Don't think we're just some shitty teenagers."

Ryuu; "We're us."

Akasuki; "Which means we're better."

Aoi; "Listen to them, Urahara-look-alike-but-not-really-Urahara-san, they know what they're talking about."

The man let out another sigh of exasperation but the smile shadowing his features couldn't be contained. They were too much for him.

***What seem like decades later***

"Okay, I will open up a portal to your world, just wait one moment." Urahara said suddenly, forcing the teens to raise their focused gazes off of the ground and onto the glowing space situated only a few feet away. The teens' eyes widened substantially in surprise at the sight in front of them. Portal, eh ? To say this was a simple portal would be an understatement and a grave mistake to make from just from the bare appearance of the supposed portal. Akane glanced sideways towards Aoi, nudging her slightly with her elbow. The brunette turned in response, giving her sister a quizzical look. "Hey, you think this is really safe ?" Akane said in a hidden hush, sparing another glance at the portal-in-making. It looked more like a portal to the deepest depths of hell without a return ticket and not even bonus peanuts for the trip there. A black aura oozing from all sides, emitting the kind of bad presence one could only ever watch or read about. Certainly not something one would leniently go strolling into without any backup information. Seemingly understanding her twin's intentions, Aoi also took another look at the portal, examining the black ominous aura presenting itself so freely in the open. But there was one thing that specifically caught her attention that she couldn't hope to ignore. Something almost frightening - if it wasn't her in question. She approached the older man, tugging on his sleeve lightly to grab his attention. As expected, the man immediately stopped what ever he was doing to give the younger teen the attention she was searching for.

Aoi; "Uhm, excuse me but, what is that ominous presence ? I think I can hear screams coming from there."

Urahara; "Ah, pay no attention to that, it's nothing important really."

Akane; "You keeping something from us, old man ?"

Urahara; "Old man...o-of course not, Akane-chan."

Kyon; "-Chan ? She doesn't even let Ryuu or me call her -chan, let alone you, old man. I'd suggest watching what you say."

Akane; "Put a sock in it, old man. I'll cut you."

Urahara; "Why do you kids have to be so difficult ?"

Kyon; "Hmph, you haven't seen anything yet."

Akane; "There's a lot more where that came from."

Aoi; "Now, now...Back to my question. Are we allowed to know where it leads to ?"

At that moment, the two teens who had stayed silent up until now took a step forward to make their points valid while simultaneously pointing at the portal with satisfied looks splayed openly on their features. The pride...the innocence...the idiocy. Honesty, those poor kids, they really lacked some common sense and who knows when they planned to attain it.

Ryuu; "Can't you see how it looks like ? It's obviously the path to Narnia."

Akane; "Please, _please_, tell me; how fuck's sake would you know what Narnia's gate looks like ?"

Ryuu; "Pft, I've seen it in movies, idiot. Don't you know anything ? Stupid."

Aoi; "He didn't even read the books...the books...books..."

Kyon; "Oh Lord, the people I stand..."

Akane; "Ryuu, you're a retard."

Akasuki; "You're all stupid. Even though it'd kinda black and looks like it harbors murderous criminals, it _obviously_ the path to Candy Land !"

Kyon; "The humanity..."

Akane; "What's next; Charlie's fucking Chocolate factory, huh ?!"

Ryuu "OH ! GOOD IDEA !"

Aoi; "It was a joke...a joke...joke..."

Those poor, poor_, __poor_, kids.

Noting on the change in atmosphere, Urahara clapped his hands twice, earning five pairs of eyes on him once more. He must have liked the attention because it seemed that every other moment the teens' eyes were on him for one reason or another. He let out a silent cough to indicate he had something to say and this time, surprisingly, he wasn't interrupted right at the beginning of his sentence. "The portal is ready. But before you leave, I have some important things to tell you so be sure to listen because I don't like repeating myself." When he was certain he wasn't going to be interrupted anytime soon, he continued with his monologue. "The path to salvation is a hard one and I cannot stress this enough. There will be things you won't be able to overcome on your own; you should ask for help - there's a reason why you are the specified team. You all trust each other and don't let anyone prove you differently and be certain; many will try. Now, you are sure to meet many obstacles in your way but the only thing I ask of you is; you must not let anything force you to stray from your path. You know who you are - I've learned that in my short time with you - so don't let anyone get in the way of your wishes. I have not known you for long therefore I cannot give you and life advice that you must hold to but there's one things that I can warn you about...Be careful. It will be dangerous. You may easily lose your lives. Then again, you many not. As I said before, it all depends. But I'm sure you all know that without me telling you, right ?" Urahara smiled in a friendly manner, earning a tap on the shoulder in response. "Don't worry, old man. I know you're an adult and it's your job to worry about us kids but I'm tellin' ya; there's nothing to worry about. Like I said before; we're us, there's nothing that can stand in our way. Right, guys ?" The rest of the group nodded in agreement and that seemed to give the older the needed piece of mind to relax and relieve. Maybe he really didn't need to worry. These kids were different. He could see that. "When you're ready, feel free to pass through it at any time and it should bring you to your designated destination."

Akasuki; "Candy Land ?"

Aoi; "I'd kind of like to go home though. Get some sleep, eat something. Rest."

Ryuu; "What the hell are you talking about ? Why not Narnia ! Where's your sense of adventure ?"

Kyon; "It died when the dog ate your homework."

Ryuu; "But it's Narnia ! **Narnia **!"

Akane; "Nobody wants to go to friggin' Narnia, dude. Get over it."

Ryuu; "Party pooper..."

Kyon "Yes I am. Thank you."

Urahara; "Haha, it doesn't matter. Leave some sense of mystery ! Everything will be explained once you enter so have some patience."

Bracing themselves, each in their own way, some more sensible than others, the teens prepared themselves for the passage through the portal. Remembering to ask something she had misplaced back in her mind, Aoi stopped just in the nick of time, just barely escaping the portal's grasp. She turned to face the waiting man with a serious look carved into her features, the emotion behind the look impossible to decipher with just simple thought. She narrowed her eyes slightly, flicking her wrist to make sure she had the man's attention before proceeding on to her question. "You failed to answer my question so I'll repeat myself...What are those screams for ?" The hesitation in her voice was fairly obvious and if not for the look of judgement decorating her eyes, it would've been quite easy to break through, but it seemed that the man had caught on because of the sinister smile creeping it's way onto his lips. He cracked a smirk, making the group flinch internally. "Oh, you shouldn't worry about those things. They're just the souls of the people who were just a _tad_ bit too careless with passing through the portal. But I'm sure you five will be fine. I'm sure." Aoi drew back to Akane's side and they both just stared at the man in vary. They really couldn't do anything more. "Have a nice trip~" Akane pushed forward, clawing her way towards the man, but before she could put forward any kind of resistance, both her and the remainder of the group were pushed into the black abyss of the portal, a light shining their way before they completely disappeared out of sight, leaving only the older man behind to stare at the closed portal.

_"They're all_ e_xtremely gifted individuals._ _I just fear for their futures. Be careful, my children, and let the light guide your path._"

* * *

I hate how this chapter turned out.

I don't know why, I just do.

Maybe it's because everything was just so forced and quickened.

I'm going on a trip tomorrow so...

Please ignore all possible spelling mistakes or word mishaps and do care to use common sense to connect the dots to the true meaning.

The story does get _much_ more interesting so please do stick around some more, because, this is **only the beginning** of a never-ending superhero story.

Comments and reviews are much appreciated !

Haruhi-sama.


	6. Chapter 4

Inspired by a group of rascals. Enjoy !

This is a work of fiction and is in no way associated with real life happenings.

I do not own any of the varied anime/manga details mentioned in the story, as much as I would like to.

I hate myself for being so slow.

GAH !

I should get my shit over with.

I was away from home for a week where no internet was present, plus, my whole day was filled with activity and I really had no time to start on the chapter. It sucks butt that I only managed to start on it this late.

So, school started. You can expect me to be much busier from now on but I'll try to keep the chapters released on a steady schedule.

Don't know how long I'll be able to keep to that, but, again, I'll try.

I wanted to finish this by Sunday but, nooo, I had to be distracted by fairy-fucking-dust.

Ah phooey.

Now guys, this is where the story gets interesting, in a number of different ways. I was flooded by ideas the last few days so I'm pretty confident that I can make something out of this. It started out as a story I wanted to write just for fun, you know, a gag story with maybe a couple of chapters but after careful consideration and much plot remaking, I've decided to make this a thing.

Anyways, enjoy this chapter !

* * *

**"Rude awakening"**

One day, Kyon feel sick with the sniffles.

His expectations;

Akane; "Ah, dude, you should really get some rest. I've got some manga you can read until you get better."

Aoi; "You shouldn't strain yourself, I have some soup if you'd like"

Akasuki; "Get better so we can visit that ice cream shop again !"

Ryuu; "Where did my game partner go !?"

The reality;

Akane; "Don't be a bitch, dude."

Aoi; "You shouldn't have come then. You'll just get in the way."

Akasuki; "People who whine are annoying. Go home."

Ryuu; "Where did my game partner go !"

Kyon;"..."

He then proceeded to place on hand on Ryuu's shoulder, earning a look of disbelief from the blonde.

Kyon; "You're the only one I can trust. HEARTLESS. ALL OF YOU."

And nobody understood.

But then again, nobody really cared, so it was alright.

**"The cake is a lie."**

Akasuki; "So, Ryuu, where's the cake you promised me if I helped you win that competition."

The competition in this story is of no importance to the matter at hand.

Ryuu; "Ah, that. That was a lie. There is no cake."

Akasuki; "No cake...no cake...The cake is a lie. A LIE. LIIIIEEEEE YOU BASTARD ! YOU LYING BASTARD ! I'LL CHOP IT OFFFFF."

Wait...chop what off ?

Akasuki then proceeded to chase Ryuu around until she ultimately became tired and admitted defeat.

Poor Akasuki.

**"Randomness"**

That day, Akane, Aoi and Kyon were on their way to Ryuu's house to discuss plans for future study sessions.

Akasuki is unimportant in this story.

Let's say she went on singing lessons to improve her ghastly singing style.

What the walked in on was nothing out of the usual.

Ryuu; "...so, see, it's like this. You press this, and then this, and then you kill the hookers to get money."

Akane; "Dude, uhh, why are you talking to your cat ?"

Kyon; "He said he wanted to learn to play GTA. Shut up."

Aoi; "That makes sense in so many ways."

Kyon; "Shut up."

Akane "Nya~"

**"Biohazard"**

Kyon; "I need coke..."

Akane; "Ah, that's right, I always wanted to ask ? Why do you like coke so much ?"

Aoi; "I must say I'm a little interested in this as well. Care to clarify ?"

Akasuki; "I was a little confused about this a little while ago, but it turns out he just really likes coke. So much, that once when a senpai pushed his coke over, he got so pissed and told him that he'd bite him to death. He beat the senpai up but ended up with more injuries himself. He's not actually strong. Too bad."

Aoi; "Well, that's unfortunate."

Akane; "Pft. Buaaaakaaa~"

Kyon; "Oi, shut up...It hurt him more than it did me."

Akane; "If you say so, Kevin."

Kyon; "This isn't Ed, Edd and Eddy, dammit !"

Akasuki; "That's right ! This is Japan, aru~"

Kyon; "Damn you all !"

* * *

**CHAPTER 4  
"Is this supposed to be a joke ?"**

You know how people say that you can never judge a book by it's cover ?

Well, to be honest, none of the five really ever believed in that superstitious bullshit before, but, as they saying goes; There's a first time for everything, and as you may have guessed, the teens were on their one-way-ticket trip to finding out just how frighteningly true this saying would turned out to be because, as we all know, humans are the most despicable creatures, all the more so when faced with a situation they can't even begin to comprehend.

A breezy light shone upon the teens' faces as they traveled through the portal, completely unaware of their surroundings, but unwavering nonetheless. There were very little things that frightened the teens and scary black portals with a black aura weren't one of them.

"How long do you think we'll have to walk around here ? And Aoi get down from there !" Akane directed towards her twin sister, who was idly floating around the unknown space, clearly enjoying the leverage advantage. "What's wrong, Aka-nee ? Come up here~" Aoi teased, twirling around in the weightless space, as if taunting the remaining four. "Don't flaunt the fact that you can fly. If this weren't some unknown void of a place and if I was completely sure that anything I do wouldn't cut my leg off by some wondrous chance, I would totally fry your ass. Now, get down." After a few giggles from Aoi due to her advantage, she finally gave into her sister's request and briskly, but elegantly, lowered herself to the supposed floor. Was it even a floor ? It was a white space that resembled nothing of solid ground but for some unexplained reason, they were perfectly capable of walking on it without any difficulty. Maybe it acted as solid ground, to put the travelers at ease. Wait, what travelers ? Since when were black portals a source of transportation ? Get back into character, Aoi. You're being silly.

"Guys, I think I see something." Akasuki exclaimed, pulling on her nearest companion's sleeve, which turned out to be Kyon's. He glanced in the direction she was pointing to, to spot a completely and utterly blank spot among all the whiteness and for some reason, it intrigued him to the point where he felt the need to inform the remaining three. "You guys see that ?" He uttered in what seemed like a whisper, almost vary of what the blackness foretold. Hey, you can't blame a guy for being a little skeptical. How could he know that, at this very moment, an ugly-ass monster wouldn't pop out of the hole and attempt to eat them all. Call him a bitch, but he would rather not take those chances. Cautiousness rarely ended up being the wrong choice of play. Grabbing the twins' attention, the both followed Kyon's hand to the blackness, only to be momentarily shocked as a shadowed figure emerged silently from the blackness, catching all five in a moment of downright 'what the fuck'. What the hell was going on right now ? How in the world did this make any sense ? It didn't. There was no explanation for what was happening right now, because, because...

The person, or rather, man, who stood before them...

Stranger; "I am relieved you made it to here safely."

Akasuki; "Why wouldn't we make it here safely ?"

Kyon; "Shh...we're in the presence of greatness..."

Akasuki was caught staring blankly at Kyon, or more precisely, at his awe-full expression showing nothing but sheer respect towards the unknown figure. She was a bit confused...maybe a bit more than that...okay, she had no friggin' idea what in the seven seas of candyland was going on. But that didn't stop her from finding out. "Who's this ?" She uttered innocently, immediately earning a glare from both Kyon and Akane. "How dare you disrespect..." Akane silenced the petite brunette, eyeing her resentfully. "The greatness that is this man..." Kyon continued on, giving poor, confused, pitiful, ignorant, just pure out fucking stupid at times Akasuki the same treatment. Okay, maybe that was a bit harsh. Oh who was he kidding, she deserved to be smacked across the face for not knowing this.

Stranger; "Now, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves."

Aoi; "Is it really you ?"

...was none other than...

Morgan Freeman.

Yes, Morgan Freeman.

Don't make fun of me, even the Japanese know of the guy, so shut the fuck up.

Khm, continuing on...

Morgan Freeman; "Ah, I have been called many things..."

Ryuu; "Kami-sama ?"

Kyon; "Dude, can you split the sea or something ?!"

Akane; "Kyon, get back into character, it's lame."

Akane eyed the man for a moment, before proceeding to clear her throat to catch his attention. But one thing she failed to notice was, she already had it, long before she was even aware of. All of them did.

Akane; "I have only one question. How are you able to speak Japanese ?"

After that little point out, the remaining five in the 'room' pondered on that question's plausibility, questioning it a bit too deeply. But she did make some sense.

Kyon; "Sou da yo. Wareware wa subete no nihonjin da. Nara naze da ?"  
_"That's right. All of us are Japanese here. So why ?"_

The five observed the bearded man for a few moments before catching movement from him which ultimately turned out to be...

"Magic."

-thumbs up-

Ryuu; "Oh, well, that explains everythi - OF COURSE IT DOESN'T, YOU IDIOT."

The man raised a hand in a sigh of peace, bearing a faint smile upon his lips. For some reason, it made everything better.

Morgan Freeman; "There's a reason for that, of course. It's actually quite simple once you understand it. This place, this 'room', is a void. The laws of physics don't apply. Therefore, so doesn't anything else. In this void, all is one. There are no laws to abide by, no rules one must obediently follow. There are no 'languages' here. There is only 'a voice', which we can all understand."

With a hint of mischief, the man continued to smile at the teens in a hearty manner, disregarding the looks of confusion coming from the petite brunette. It seems she still didn't understand a thing.

Akane; "So basically, what you're saying is, all is nullified here. We _are_ speaking Japanese, in a sense, but also we _aren't_."

Morgan Freeman; "Yes, that about sums it all up."

Kyon; "Ah, understand, it's actually quite simple if you think about it."

Morgan Freeman; "Of course. All is simple in core."

Aoi; "Haha, you certainly have a knack in explaining things, Morgan-san."

Morgan Freeman; "All that is important is the will to comprehend."

Ryuu; "I don't get it, but you're so badass."

Kyon; "Way to ruin the mood dumbass. Try and read the atmosphere."

Aoi; "Now, now, let's not fight~"

Akane; "It's obvious you're enjoying this."

Morgan Freeman; "Now, silence. I have some important things to say."

And for the first time in a long while, the teens found themselves unable to utter another word. It came as a shocking revelation to some, and to some it was nothing more than a pleasant surprise. He really was all they had hoped of him to be.

Except Akasuki.

That girl didn't know her right from her left at the moment.

But let's leave that be for awhile.

Morgan Freeman; "As you've all heard, the road ahead may be treacherous but the time has finally come, to choose a new generation. The old generation grew old. Some died in battle, some of old age, some of unknown causes that have yet to be discovered and now the only one left is the center piece, fire."

Akane; "Wait..fire ? What are you..."

Morgan Freeman; "The person training you so far was the last one, fire, also a good friend of mine. But he has grown old already..."

Akane "I'll say..."

Morgan Freeman; "...And you are the new generation. In the old days they liked to call themselves the ''ultimate five", as cliche as that may sound."

Kyon; "That's so touching, so deep, my feeling cannot...So heartfelt - NOT ! Come on, I was at least expecting something a little bit less mainstream."

Akane; "And he's back."

Aoi; "And for what reason are we needed ?"

Morgan Freeman; "To restore the balance ! As you might have noticed, the past century has been full of wars and tragedies. Darkness has taken over. Thus, because of the balance crumbling, the world has become weak and poor. You must save it - that, is your destiny."

Ryuu; "But what can we do ?"

Kyon; "Sure, _now_ you get serious."

Akane; "And please don't say something as cliche as they old guy. "Friendship is all that matters ! You can overcome every obstacle !", cause, in all honesty, I don't but that shit for my life."

Morgan Freeman; "Haha, I do agree but the bonds you five have will all serve a role. You shall be tested - in various ways - and depending on how you...I apologize, I shall rephrase...Depending on whether or not you are able to pass these tests, the true task shall show itself. You shall need to sacrifice a lot. I cannot guarantee that you will keep your lives."

Aoi: "..."

Akasuki; "..."

Kyon; "And do we have time to decide ?"

Morgan Freeman; "I'm afraid not. The choice is not up to you. Your fates have already been decided."

Akane; "...now that's one hell of a bad bargain..."

Morgan Freeman; "But it is one you cannot decline."

Aoi; "...do you mind if we go home now ? I'm sure all of us want to rest now."

Without uttering another word, the bearded man maneuvered his hand swiftly across the air, and as his hand traveled, a human-sized white portal opened in place of the previously black one, catching the teens' attentions. They observed the portal carefully as it moved according to the older man's movements. It was actually kind of really cool when you thought about it. But then again, nothing about this man could ever really be considered as 'uncool'.

Morgan Freeman; "Please go through this portal. It shall take you to your destination. And do not worry. Which ever trial comes in front of you, face it head on, do not falter off of your path, and you shall never lose. Oh, one last thing! Use your free time wisely. For it shall not last long."

The teens then proceeded to walk towards the portal, subconsciously vary of the older man's words, although the youngsters then go through the gate with similar thoughts. Some more stupid than others. But they were all eager to take a rest. God only knows they needed it.

***Needed time skip due to the writer's immense laziness to write the translation into detail, commence !***

"Okay, seriously. WHAT THE FUCK ?!" Kyon uttered in exasperation, unable to contain his bubbling frustration due to the situation they had found themselves in. Seriously, was fucking up their daily lives becoming a thing or something ? Were they secretly becoming popular over the internet due to some fat kid filming their lives purely by accident while on his usual stroll for morning ice cream and thanks to that fat kid had the video already made it viral ? Honestly, anything was easier to believe than to actually think that their current situation _wasn't _some kind of cruel joke. He rubbed his temples in annoyance, leaning against the wall in hope to calm himself down, to maybe try and think of a logical explination as to why they were stuck in this mess right now. It wasn't working. He was still just as pissed off. Really slick, Kyon. Any more and you'll really need anger management. And we all know that the kids that get stuck with the psychiatrist in middle school never make it well in high school. Wanna become a delinquent ? Well, he already kind of was one. Kind of.

"Seriously, who ever did this, not cool."

Who in the right mind would do that.

A pyramid ?

Egypt ?

What ?

* * *

I was intending on posting this chapter sooner, but some things happened and I was only able to posting it today.

Plus, this morning when I went to check on the progress of my chapter, I found out it had been completely deleted and then I had to redo it all in a day.

I swear to God...er, myself.

Get the joke ?

Ah, I'm not funny. :L

Please ignore all possible spelling mistakes or word mishaps and do care to use common sense to connect the dots to the true meaning.

The story does get _much_ more interesting so please do stick around some more, because, this is **only the beginning** of a never-ending superhero story.

Comments and reviews are much appreciated !

Haruhi-sama.


	7. Chapter 5

THIS

CHAPTER

TOOK

SO

LONG AEIUVGHFOWOVGFASJ

I can't even begin to express how much I've missed writing this story. But not being able to get online on a PC takes it's toll.

Inspired by a group of rascals. Enjoy !

This is a work of fiction and is in no way associated with real life happenings.

I do not own any of the varied anime/manga details mentioned in the story, as much as I would like to.

Now guys, this is where the story gets interesting, in a number of different ways. I was flooded by ideas the last few days so I'm pretty confident that I can make something out of this. It started out as a story I wanted to write just for fun, you know, a gag story with maybe a couple of chapters but after careful consideration and much plot remaking, I've decided to make this a thing.

Anyways, enjoy this chapter !

* * *

**"Seriously."**

One [insert applicable weather] day, Kyon was walking to Ryuu's house to get the newest version of Call of Duty on CD when he heard hysterical screaming coming from somewhere inside the blonde's house.

Rushing inside, the megane inspected the vicinity of the house, coming to the conclusion that the yelling was coming from upstairs.

He went to climb, but came to an abrupt stop when he spotted Ryuu in the most peculiar position that came to mind.

Kyon; "Dude, are you stuck in between the staircase ?"

Ryuu; "..."

Kyon; "How..?"

Ryuu; "NOT IMPORTANT."

Kyon; "Seriously."

Ryuu; "WELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE, HELP ME."

Kyon; "I'm leaving."

Ryuu; "WAIT DON'T LEAVE ME HERE DAMMIT I CAN'T GET OUT!"

He left.

And they never spoke of it again.

**"Jelly..wait, what ?"****  
**

There comes a time in every girl's life when she starts noticing the smallest of details.

Even the ones she would have preferred to overlook.

And that's exactly what happened to Aoi one unimportant afternoon.

She was talking with her sister and another classmate when Akane made a silly comment about this other girl from class.

This was how it played out.

Akane; "So, dude, I've heard the little English girl, what was her name..Ekaserina* ? Yeah, her. I heard you got the hots for her ?"

The classmate's name was Onodera.

And yes he was male.

Onodera; "Akane-chan, you have no idea. I guess I just got a thing for foreign girls..plus she's so small and adorable. Who wouldn't wanna squeeze her cheeks a little ? But no luck in that area, she already rejected me. It was a one-sided thing I guess. But I mean, look at me. I don't get it."

Akane; "I agree dude. I mean, you know I don't give a shit for your ass, but you're actually a pretty good looking guy. I really don't know. She must just be jelly that you've got half the girl population crushing on you."

And yes, the other half did indeed go to Ryuu.

Don't even question.

Onodera; "Right ? Pft, she's just jelly that she can't have any of my man jelly."

Aoi; "What."

Akane; "Ahaha, you sick bastard."

And they never spoke of it again.

Well, Akane did retell it just for laughs.

And it did forever remain in Aoi's memory as something she'd rather not have known or at least forgotten.

A horrible day that was.

Ekaserina* - _an English name Romanized. The origin of the name would go as Ekatherina/Katherine. _

* * *

**CHAPTER 5  
"I really fucking hope this is Egypt."**

A pyramid.

Was this really a pyramid ?

Kyon observed his surroundings, leaning against the nearest tree, pondering on their current position while simultaneously controlling his temper from going haywire. Highly unlikely he would be able to prevent that, seeing how things stood at this moment. They were stuck - well, not exactly stuck but he could hardly pin-point their exact position - in some god forsaken place and the fact that they were all more or less exhausted after those grueling hours of practice and basic _torture_, wasn't helping their situation by an inch. But calm down Kyon. This wasn't the first time you were faced with a situation as dumb-founding and just plain out _retarded_ as this. Remember the time when Ryuu lost his dog on a school field trip - let's overlook the fact that the idiot should't have and wasn't allowed to bring it along in the first place - and they had to search for the damn mutt all afternoon while the remainder of the class went on to observe scenery and visit petting zoos and what ever the fuck. A whole day, and what was worse, a whole month of allowance wasted for something he could've as easily arranged back at home. Yes..he had dealt with more ridiculously unbelievable things than this, a little pyramid obviously situated in the middle of a fucking _jungle_ wasn't going to phase him. He could deal with this. Nay, he _would_ deal with this, in a timely - and most importantly - gentlemanly manner.

Turning around, he faced the remainder of his group, each of them as baffled as his one, some keeping their calm while others openly expressed their distress upon the subject. "Shit, there goes the afternoon I planned on spending in the company of Alibaba Saluja." Akane remarked with an exasperating sigh, leaning against the same tree with as much enthusiasm as a sloth on a Monday afternoon. But Kyon expected that, all of them did really. Akane rarely did react to things such as these and at times it worked quite well as a calming device when others could do nothing but overreact. "Ha~ah, I suppose I won't be finishing that book any time soon." Jumped in Aoi moments after, with the same amount of emotion in her voice, tapping her sister's shoulder lightly. "How far do you think this is from Tokyo ?" She questioned, cocking her head slightly to the left, in search of affirmation - meaning she had a hunch but wanted to confirm. "We shouldn't be that far..I can still smell the Tokyo air." She added shortly after, earning a nod from her sister. "We should wait until night time - I'll be able to coordinate myself using the stars." The red-hair pointed upwards to the blazing sunlight filled sky. "You're right. It's probably somewhere around noon now ?" Kyon confirmed, glancing in Ryuu's direction. "Right dude ?" The grandiosso boy scout nodded in agreement. "It's positioned right at the center-peak of the sky. It should be around noon." Which was what basically any fifth grader earned in geography so no praise earned there. Poor Ryuu.

Kyon; "So now that we have that out of the way."

A little bit too fast, don't you think ?

Kyon; "What do you guys suggest we do until night falls ?"

Akane; "I suggest we hit the sacks now."

Aoi; "I agree, I don't feel all too comfortable sleeping in the dark in some unknown place. I'd rather we rest up while the sun's till high in the sky."

See..they could think logically.

Akasuki; "But how do you plan on sleeping on the ground ? And I don't really feel all to eager with shacking up on a tree."

Kyon; "Ditto. Heights give me the heebie-jeebies."

Aoi; "Didn't Ryuu-kun pack ? He had scouts earlier today, right ?"

Ryuu; "I got two three tents in here, so someone's gotta shack up in pairs.

Akane; "Aoi and I are in one tent."

Kyon; "You can forget me sleeping with anyone. I get the lone tent."

Then that was that.

Since they didn't hear any complaints from Ryuu or Akatsuki, it was a done deal.

Okay, so maybe they did complain a little bit but the trio could frankly care less.

It was what it was.

After they had set up the tents - with a few issues on account of Ryuu misplacing one of the main bars that kept up - they quickly got into their respective sleeping places and drifted off to sleep, oddly enough without a worry in the world. I guess the saying 'an exhausted man can sleep without worry under any and every circumstance' came into play quite nicely here. Some dreamed about the days to come, some dreamed about what they'd have for lunch tomorrow, and some simply dreamed about those awesome fucking ass nutella pancakes they'd had that day but they all had the best sleep they had had in a long while and what they couldn't assume now - it would be one of the very rare nights they would be allowed to get a night's rest.

*******A certain number of hours later***

Heh, heh..no silly..it's fine, I'll eat your sandwich any day..No, that isn't meant to be kinky..I don't even mind the smoky smell..

Wait..

Smoke ?

Ryuu awoke suddenly, examining his surroundings with surprising caution before crawling out of the tent to face the tainted wings of lady night. How long had he been out ? He couldn't clearly tell but it must've been a few hours in the least for the sun to have nested this deep in the horizon. He could barely see anything in front of himself, save for the small fire they had started up as a precaution. Taking a deep breath in, he felt the strange sensation of smoke on his tongue, moving down his throat and through his nose, filling it up with the specific smell. What was this ? Why was there the smell of smoke here ? Forest fires weren't something to joke about, he had learned that much on scouts. Who was stupid enough to start a fire in a forest as huge as this one ? "Guys ?" He questioned into deep nothingness, scanning his environment and trying to make as much sense as he could from the situation. It was kind of hard finding your bearing when you couldn't even see one damn feet in front of yourself, again, save the soon to dead bonfire. He made a move forward, toppling over some climbing equipment on the way. This sucked. "Guys !" He called out once more, this time clearer and he could almost feel his voice reach the furthest of lengths, echoing through the still silence of the forest. Okay, seriously, this was starting to creep him out just a little bit. None of his friends were answering and as far as he knew, they could've left him here to go and search for help, but he wouldn't appreciate it if it were so. They knew all too well how he hated being left out and as much as he hated to show it, sometimes he was forced to. Damn Kyon. Always making him look like an idiot. Damn Kyon, never listening to anything he said. This was turning way too deep too fast and before he could question the topic of his importance any deeper, he took another deep breath, readying himself for a lung scream. "GUYS - "

Akane; "You're slow, Ryuu."

Akasuki; "Why did it take you this long to wake up ?"

Aoi; "We didn't hear you, Ryuu-kun. Did you call ?"

Kyon; "Seriously dude, you're really slow."

Ryuu; "Dammit guys, you really had me freaked there."

Akane; "We've been up for a while. Akasuki sensed the smoke around thirty minutes ago and we've been thinking about our next move."

Ryuu; "And it didn't even come to you to maybe, err, I don't know, wake me up !?"

Aoi; "You looked like you were enjoying yourself."

Akane; "Pft."

Ryuu; "Wha - I would nev - "

Kyon; "More importantly, we've been thinking about this for a while, but we still can't figure out where the smoke could've come from. It's not hot enough for a natural spark and it didn't seem like there were any people here before."

Akasuki; "Things change."

Akane; "Actually guys.."

All attention was directed towards Akane at that moment, eyes following her gesture in a certain direction. "I noticed the fire a while ago but that's not the strange thing." Let's overlook the fact that she didn't find it necessary to tell them. "It's remained in the same state for a bit, actually, ever since I noticed it. It hasn't budged an inch from that spot." If that didn't scream suspicious, she didn't know what did.

"Well I guess we all know what that means." Kyon added in shorty after, throwing a stack of dirt onto the small fire, but not before making sure they had picked up all of their equipment. From what he could tell, they would need it.

"Did you guys get everything." Akane remarked, bending over the fire to check if some sparks had been left over while the remaining four examined their sleeping spots, searching for possible forgotten items. "It's all clear here." Akasuki jumped in, giving them the okay whilst Aoi, Ryuu and Kyon did the same.

"That's right." Aoi muttered, tapping her sister on the back after they had readied all their things to leave their nesting place. "I wanted to ask because it was strange to me. Where exactly do you see a fire ?" Ears perked up at the question, including eyes scanning the area she had pointed to before. It was true. As Aoi said, they couldn't see anything. It _was_ strange. "What are you four talking about ? I can see it clearly from here." Akane noted, eyebrows knitted together in suspicion.

Well..it didn't really matter right now.

Their primary concern was finding out the cause to that fire.

And what surprise they faced.

* * *

**What.**

**The.**

**Hell.**

What was this scenario.

The group of five observed the ensuing scene, each at a complete loss of words. People. Tied to a wooden cross. Which was on fire. Now I know what you're thinking. This isn't something that happened on a daily basis so their surprise was evident, if not expected but you see, there was very little that could surprise any of the five teenagers. They had seen some pretty peculiar things in this day and age, but this had topped it all off. And it wasn't even due to the fact that there were two people about to burn to their deaths, it was simply the fact that these certain people were _all too familiar_ to be strangers, yet they were completely certain they hadn't met them ever before. So what was this feeling of familiarity ? This unbudging feeling that prevented them from erasing the image of two people burning and just turning around and leaving ? They couldn't possibly. Not while this bubbling sensation urged them forward and right into the flock of people surrounding the fire.

Akane; "Hey..Kyon..have you ever wondered why this place seemed so familiar when we first got here ?"

Kyon; "I know. I just can't shake this feeling that we've been here before."

In some shape or form.

Akasuki; "But wait, what should we do ? There are people about to burn there, you guys ! We can't just leave them now that we know !"

And it seemed perfectly obvious that none of the people surrounding them planned on doing anything to help either of them.

Aoi; "Are you suggesting we help them ?"

Ryuu; "And how do you plan on doing that, huh, Akasuki ? It's _fire_ we're talking about. You don't solve it by simply walking into it."

They all stopped for a moment, each directing their gaze at the red-head who had kept to a hush these last few minutes, eyeing her as if she herself was the perpetrator of this situation. "Don't tell me..you guys.." She warned quietly, getting no response from any of them, which clearly dissolved all fog that might've settled in front of the girl's sight. It was perfectly clear to her. What she had to do. What they all had to do. But she just couldn't shake the feeling that what they were about to do was wrong. Unnatural. She couldn't help but feel that their intervenal was uncalled for. They shouldn't get involved. They shouldn't get involved. A clear message splayed right across her mind. They shouldn't mess with this. Yet it didn't stop her from doing just that.

You don't solve it by simply walking into it, huh ?

And yet that's exactly what she did.

Why ?

She didn't know.

But she did know they would grow to regret the decision they had made that day.

A decision that would gravely effect the remainder of their lives.

But that wasn't important now.

Right now...it was time.

Time to play with fire.

* * *

So, I planned on finishing this chapter a lot before, but it turned out this way and there was nothing I could do.

I got a week free from school right now so hopefully I'll be able to get a chapter or two more in.

I hope.

Please ignore all possible spelling mistakes or word mishaps and do care to use common sense to connect the dots to the true meaning.

The story does get _much_ more interesting so please do stick around some more, because, this is **only the beginning** of a never-ending superhero story.

Comments and reviews are much appreciated !

Haruhi-sama.


	8. Chapter 6

So, the story with THSFF..I've been writing it. And I've gotten as far as four chapters ahead but I haven't actually gotten to publishing them.

Hopefully I'll be able to do that more often.

* * *

Inspired by a group of rascals. Enjoy !

This is a work of fiction and is in no way associated with real life happenings.

Disclaimer; I do not own any of the varied anime/manga details mentioned in the story, as much as I would like to.

Now guys, this is where the story gets interesting, in a number of different ways. I was flooded by ideas the last few days so I'm pretty confident that I can make something out of this. It started out as a story I wanted to write just for fun, you know, a gag story with maybe a couple of chapters but after careful consideration and much plot remaking, I've decided to make this a thing.

Anyways, enjoy this chapter !

* * *

**The not so Fantastic Five **

**Chapter Six - Cliffhanger**

You know, one would think that being a fifteen year old teenager who had never gone further than an occasional..yes, occasional, let's say that, fist fight, these five would at least have lost some backbone in this situation engulfed in scorching flames.. But nope.

No shits given.

What.

So.

Ever.

"How do you guys think we should do this ?" Akane questioned, observing the rising flame from a short distance. Some of the people, or students to be more precise, had already noticed the funny bunch of kids not really phased by the fact that two people were roasting pretty quickly. Seriously. The shit had started to smell.

Kyon; "Hm, good question."

Ryuu; "Should we jump in ?"

Akasuki; "Ryuu, don't be stupid. Wanna die ?"

Aoi; "Actually, that might not be such a bad idea.."

Heads turned in Aoi's direction, who was standing calmly, chin rested on her palm. "Akasuki, I know what you're thinking, but fighting fire with water in this situation would be the worst thing to do. They'd notice us. I don't want those two to die as much as the next person but I want to get home just as equally. There's no point in trying to be inconspicuous. They'll notice us one way or another eventually, if we're stuck here. So we might as well reveal ourselves in a bang." She inquired calculatingly, pointing towards the bottom of the cross shaped piece of wood. "That's where we strike. Akane. You should be unharmed by fire..if we think logically."

That was when it hit them.

And hard.

Ryuu; "Guys..do we actually know how to use our powers ?"

Aoi; "Didn't we do it in the dimension ?"

Akane; "I'm guessing this is different."

Akasuki; "Oh my God this is embarrassing."

Ryuu; "Why did we act so cool, we're retarded."

Kyon; "Now just calm down..there should be a way.."

Ryuu; "Oi, I don't need that cheap manga hope."

Akane; "Would you rather we cry ?"

Ryuu; "If it's in big enough amounts to put out a fire, that'd be cool."

Akasuki; "I'm sweaty, ugh."

Kyon; "STAY ON TRACK."

"Still.." Akasuki jumped in, a puzzled look locked upon her lips. "There shouldn't be much difference between that dimension and here. Should we try ?"

Akasuki; "We were taught how it goes, so the basic principles apply to everywhere, right ? We should just concentrate and, with effort, we might succeed."

Akane; "Should we jump in ?"

Kyon; "Let's jump in."

Ryuu; "BANZAI~!"

It all flew by too fast for the human eye to see. From the point where Akane burst into the fire, Ryuu grabbed a block of wood, Akasuki started crying, Aoi conversed with the woman trapped at the top, Kyon screamed in frustration, to the point when the whole thing came crashing down in one big thud.

Akane; "Iya~ That was a rush~"

Kyon; "What happened to not being noticed ?"

Aoi; "Trials and tribulations~"

Akasuki; "Useless details~"

Ryuu; "You think we could've died ?"

Kyon; "We didn't, and that's the most important thing."

Ryuu; "But what if we could've."

Kyon; "Just shut up."

Akane; "Akasuki what the hell."

Akasuki; "I burned myself."

Akane; "Does anyone have bandages ?"

Kyon; "Do they look like they have bandages ?"

Akane; "There's at least one doctor in every scenario, someone's gotta - "

"Ano.."

Akane glanced down towards the dark haired male laying in her arms, looking ever so embarrassed. "Could you put me back down ?" Back down ? Wasn't he strapped to a cross about to burn to death just moments ago ? Being held by a girl was the least of his worries. "Would you've rather if that guy held you ?" She pointed in the direction of the blonde holding on to the slightly older woman, his face hiding ulterior motives.

He wanted to drop her, tch.

She set the male down, letting him take a breather while she instructed the blonde to do the same with the woman. "You know.." Kyon intercepted after a moment. "In a normal situation.." Because this is totally what this was. "People would show their appreciation."

"Pft, just like you to point that out. Though he does have a point..hey, middle sized, got anything to say ?"

M-middle sized..oi, oi..

"Thank you ?"

Akane; "Cool."

Ryuu; "Tell your friend her bra came off."

Kyon; "Elegancy level pro."

Akasuki; "Guys, everyone's looking."

One moment.

Shift attention.

"Hontouni.." The five teens fell silent under the nearly fifty pairs of eyes staring down at them, each showing the exact same emotion, or rather, complete phrase.

'What the hell is this shit ?"

"Moving along~" Akane chimed, attempting to move passed the group of people, but, unlike before, they weren't all to eager to move. Quite the opposite. They were intent on keeping the five there. Bad idea. The last time they had been ambushed, they were punished with a week of cleaning the Academy's pool. Either that or getting sued. Is it bad that they had thought about it ?

"Move." She ordered this time along, not being one for wasting patience on trivialities. "Aka-nee, we're somewhat guests, we need to be polite. No blood, ne~?" Aoi came right behind her, a charming, child like smile splayed across her face while she leaned upon her sister's shoulder.

"But you know..she asked them nicely before.." Akasuki chirped in an annoyed tone, sizing up the people in front of her. Just regular people, huh..

"Hey, this guy's giving me a weird look. It's annoying." Ryuu pointed in front of him to the shorter male looking up at him.

Kyon; "They've been sizing us up for quite a while, you think they're up to something ?"

Akasuki; "Urusai Kyon, you're a weak shit anyway."

Kyon; "Oi, Akasuki kozou.."

Ryuu; "Tch, this guy just won't move, it's so nerve-wrecking."

Akane; "A-chan, you said no blood, right ?"

Aoi; "Sou da yo, Aka-nee."

Akane; "So it's fine if they don't bleed ?"

Aoi; "Just what I was thinking."

Instantly, chills passed the terrain, leaving behind an ominous feeling as a whole row of people came stumbling backwards, clearing the path in one swift movement. A chilling wind swept the area, leaving nothing but silence and occasional hushed whispers coming from observers.

Akane; "Acha, I've gotten rusty, my swing isn't what it used to be."

Ryuu; "This one isn't moving."

Kyon; "Nobody cares, Ryuu."

Aoi; "This one isn't either."

Kyon; "Just kick him a little, Aoi."

Akasuki; "I should've worn pants. Kicking's a bitch."

Akane; "You were pretty happy with the school uniform before."

Akasuki; "Things change, as you would say."

Akane; "Wise words~"

The group of hereby utterly stunned people observed the teens walking off, none of them daring to take a step forward. Fuck, as if they'd risk it.

Wait..seriously ?

Just like that ?

No, wait, there was one person observing with a smirk playing on his lips.

"Hmph, they're an interesting bunch of kids, aren't they..I could use them.."

"You have weird hobbies, old man." The man turned his neck to face a shorter brunette, staring him down with a disgusted expression filled with judgement.

Wait. It was supposed to end here. Isn't that how it goes ? The grand reveal of the enemy ? End of scene ? No ? Well fuck you too.

"We forgot we needed bandages for this one. And you look like a person who might have some. We don't have to pay, right ?"

An interesting bunch indeed. In more ways than one.

"You realize you just swept a dozen people off their feet. Literally. I don't think any bandages we have, we'll be using on you."

Well shit. It really wasn't their lucky day.

Akane; "Should we apologize ?"

Kyon; "That won't help."

Akasuki; "But I don't wanna apologize."

Kyon; "That too."

The megane male adjusted his primary accessory properly against his nose, taking a moment to asses the situation and take proper measures in making sure they weren't killed in their sleep if they decided to stay here.

Wait..who ever decided they were even staying here ?

Kyon; "Are we staying here ?"

Akane; "Shouldn't we ask this guy ? He's obviously the one in charge, distanced from the group like this."

Akasuki; "How do you know his personality just doesn't suck so no one wants to hang out with him ?"

Akane; "I'm trying to be dramatic, shit."

Ryuu; "Can we stay here then, ossan ?"

"You may, but in exchange, I'll have you do me a little favor." This didn't sound right. It always had a twist and more times than one, that twist didn't turn out to be a walk in the park. Something told them that this 'favor' entitled more than his friendly smile gave off.

"And what exactly is this favor ?"

Damn it Akasuki. Stop killing the mood. This needs to end in a cliffhanger. Can't do your damn job right.

"I'll need you to explore this pyramid."

Well. That was easy.

Kyon; "Ugh, I don't wanna do that."

Akane; "Nope. Nope. Nope."

Ryuu; "Akane is really claustrophobic, huh.."

Akasuki; "What if there are bugs down there ?"

Aoi; "It's really dark down there.."

...

R "We can cook though."

Ryuu; "I can lift heavy things."

Kyon; "I'm pretty good when it comes to organizing."

Akasuki; "I'm hungry."

Kyon; "Getting off track again."

Definitely not. Sorry ossan, today just wasn't your day either it seems. One of you had to settle and from the looks of things, and considering the level of temperament, it was obvious it wasn't going to be these kids. Well, as they say, you've just gotta make due with what you get. And he got five troublemakers.

But something could certainly be made of this. Especially if you count in their unusual behavior and abnormal skill level. Something told him these kids were more than they initially let on, and he was bent on figuring out exactly how different they were.

Cliffhanger.

Fuck yes.

* * *

Okay, I realize this chapter was more or less kind of shitty. I also realize I've made them a bit too powerful for teenagers. It all gets explained later, I promise. Plus, this story is more leaning on the side of a parody, so there are bound to be many ridiculous, nonsensical things.

Please don't judge me.

Look forward to when I upload the next chapter, shouldn't be long.

* * *

R&B - refers to Akane and Aoi's nicknames, RED and BLUE, which is basically them being a pair, saying or acting in unison and that sort of thing. Their nickname is very notorious uhuhu~


	9. Chapter 7

An update so soon ? Oh my gosh! Nah, I'm just kiddin' ya. I'm planning to update once more today ad then I'm off to vacation once more. So, enjoy the chapter I guess.

* * *

Inspired by a group of rascals. Enjoy !

This is a work of fiction and is in no way associated with real life happenings.

Disclaimer; I do not own any of the varied anime/manga details mentioned in the story, as much as I would like to.

Now guys, this is where the story gets interesting, in a number of different ways. I was flooded by ideas the last few days so I'm pretty confident that I can make something out of this. It started out as a story I wanted to write just for fun, you know, a gag story with maybe a couple of chapters but after careful consideration and much plot remaking, I've decided to make this a thing.

Anyways, enjoy this chapter !

* * *

**The not so Fantastic Five**  
**Chapter Seven - "Things just keep getting bigger, don't they.."**

Akane; "Oi.."  
Kyon; "Where the hell _are_ we.."  
Aoi; "We were just..getting ready for bed.."  
Ryuu; "Yeah, I distinctly remember having to carry that _heavy_ woman to her tent..and falling asleep from exhaustion."  
Akane; "This sure ain't the tropical climate we were in minutes ago."  
Akasuki; "Guys, look at this. There's something written."

Their attentions were slowly directed to where Akasuki was curiously pointing, and in front of them, disregarding the run down, old building - pretty close to it's exhaustion - stood a sign dangling off the sides of the broken down walls - reading clear as a bell.

**_"Devil May Cry"_**

The teens stood silent for a moment, and who first to speak up than the sizzling red head herself. "..joudan..ka ? (A..joke ?)", she questioned, her voice slightly tripping at the sudden translation of the sign's saying. Devil May Cry. Only one thing came to mind.

_One thing._

And she, as well as Kyon, who had come to the same realization - hey, not everyone in the group was as informed as the two know-it-all veterans - would be damned if they didn't have a sneak peek at the slight possibility of an altered reality.

Because suddenly appearing in the middle of a tropical atmosphere through the simple act of entering a black portal to return from a space time broken dimension definitely wasn't a cause for worry.

You might be wondering why - despite all the breath taking occurrences - the five had managed to stay so flawlessly calm throughout all this time. Well, you see..

They weren't.

They were freaking out, frankly.

Hell, both Akasuki and Ryuu were ready to piss their pants, Kyon was facing a mental break down and the twin duo were just lost in confusion. The only thing keeping them sane - and their heads safely away from the very appealing concrete ground - was the fact that this in itself was really fucking incredible, and you'd have to be a hands down retard to pass it up. Sure, maybe they'd piss themselves - undermining the fact that they were graceful flower petals walking the earth ie. female (Well, three fifths of them were) - but who's to say it wouldn't be fully worth it ? Clothes _are_ disposable, right ?

Akane; "Oi, Kyon-bouzu (Similar to 'kid'), the doors are right there. Wanna take a chance ?"  
Kyon; "Nani ga bouzu da ? (What, kid ?) I'm older than you, Red."  
Akane; "Tsumaranai megane yarou da ne.. (You sure are a boring glasses freak..)"  
Kyon; "Sou, sou, Retto-chan. (Sure, sure, little Red.) Iku no ka ? (We going ?)"  
Akane; "Touzen darou ? (Isn't that a given ?) Ikou, mina. (Let's go, guys.)"

They all said their prayers - again, just the two veterans did, because the other three had absolutely no idea where they were, but you get the gist - and in a heightened step, walked up to the doorstep and left three distinct knocks on the door.

"Ah, that's gotta be my pizza. Oi, Patty, open the door."

"Again with the pizza ? Maybe they're customers, sit down, will you ?"

"Irashaimase~ (Welcome~)"

The doors came to a steady reveal, leaving the short blonde on the other side in a state of embezzlement.

"A-ara ?"

"Oi, I ain't givin' no tips."

"A-ano..can I help you ?" The blonde questioned, the confused, slightly startled expression still firmly settled upon her facial features. "Ah, yes.." Kyon spoke up this time, stepping forward whilst adjusting his glasses to take a better look at the smaller in build blonde. "We're here for..uh..business ?" He said, wondering about his own intentions before letting himself continue. "We'd like to enquire about - "Before he could get back on track, he was cast aside as easily as he had stepped forward. "We're here to collect the rent." Ryuu butted in, peeking into the building, a quizzical look cast upon his face.

"Tch, I said I'd pay the rent by the end of the month. Scram 'fore I.."

A tall..really fucking tall..uh, silver-haired male (Can you say it's silver ? Grey ? Who knows.) approached the group, staring down on Ryuu - not really, since Ryuu was a monster on his own but the point's been made so lay off - ie. the piece of shit who came to collect the rent. "Ha ? What's this sorry bunch ? Did they get so poor they started recruitin' kids ? What's the world gettin' to, oi." The tall male remarked snappily. "Yadda mou, Ryuu-kun, we're not doing that again." Aoi intercepted, a chirp in her voice. "Sou da Ryuu. Don't start a ruckus again. Don't you remember who had to repaint the school in the end ?" Akane snapped quietly, reminiscing on old times. Rather, last month. Oh, who the hell cares. Point is, they were the ones that had to fix everything while Ryuu did community time in suspension. Lucky bastard.

"Get to the point, munchkins." The tall male snarled, losing his patience by the moment. Jeez..they were getting to it, no need to get his panties in a bunch. "Right. We're not here to correct rent. We're kinda..lost. To be honest, this isn't where we belong." Kyon started, getting them back on track. Might as well tell the truth. From what he knew, these were people they could trust, or hitch a ride with, in the least. "Don't belong..?" Assessing suspiciously, the male leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms in a disregarding fashion. "Are you humans ?" Oi, oi, was that the proper thing to say ? Akasuki couldn't believe this. Of course they were -

Kyon; "We're humans."  
Aoi; "Are we ?"  
Ryuu" "I think we are."  
Akasuki; "Well, let's say kinda ?"  
Akane; "Then we're kinda humans."

Well, that certainly made complete and perfect sense and was not confusing in the least.

Right.

"Huh, don't think I've ever met 'kinda humans'."

"Isn't that what you are ?"

A moment, more alike an hour of silence befell the group, until Akasuki - the very loudmouth to utter that sentence - felt a sudden rift in the air, her eyes widening upon the sight of a huge ass, dangerously looking sword, drifting scarily close to her throat. And she..was on the floor ? What ?

"Gaki..(Brat..) what did you just say ?"

Akane; "Accha~ I cut my finger."  
Aoi; "How did you manage that, haha ?"  
Akane; "See, it's really hard to repel a sword without proper defenses..guys..where's my katana ?"  
Ryuu; "You must've left it at camp."  
Akasuki; "Yesh, I remember leaving it in the tent."  
Kyon; "Here we go."

Without a moment to spare, Akasuki was taken off her feet once more and briskly pushed against the wall with equal force, however this time along she had certainly noticed it. The glare on her red-headed friend was kinda..well, scary.

Akane; "Buchikorosuzo, oi. (I'll fucking kill you.) I told you to never touch Kuragar. Never. She must be lonely on her own now. Or even worse, someone could've stolen her ! Yaddaaa, Kuragaaar~! Ima taskeru yo ! (I'm coming to save you now !)"  
Aoi; "Aka-nee has a great attachment to Kuragar, since she was crafted by our father before he..ah, disappeared."  
Akasuki; "Jaaa~! Akadeee~! I'b soeey~! I bibn't meam to, waah~! Seppukuuu~!"  
Kyon; "Chott - oi !"

-A few minutes later, after Akane had more or less gathered her nerves and Akasuki had finished being shriveled up on the floor, wallowing in self-resent. -

Akasuki; "I'll find it as soon as we get back to camp, I promise !"  
Akane; "Her. Find /her/. Whatever."  
Kyon; " -whisper- But hey..Akasuki, that thing you said before..do you know who this is ? -whisper- "  
Akasuki; "Hm ? Oh ! Of course ! My sister plays the game all the time, so it's a given I'd know."

How could she not.

Dante, the Devil Hunter.

Aoi; "As much as I like everything to be in a hushed tone, Aka-nee, you're going to have to tell me what this is about. I don't like not knowing."  
Akane; "Just leave it for a while, yeah ? I'll explain later."

Still in a pissed off mood I see.

Well then.

Aoi; "Silver-san, it seems we'll be in your care for a while."  
Akane; "Yoroshiku na."  
Dante; "Who said you could stay here, brats. Get - "  
Akasuki; "Don't mind, don't mind~"  
Patty; "That's right, Dante, they seem like fun."

And so it was settled - one way or the other - that the five would stay at the Devil May Cry organization until they found a way to get home.

The owner himself didn't agree.

But nobody asked him, so it was okay.

Akasuki; "Demo na.. (But you know..) does anyone have any idea how we got here ?"  
Akane; "Shiran. (Don't ask me.) As far as I'm concerned, we shouldn't even be surprised anymore. Too many things happened today."  
Kyon; "Well, since it seems we'll be spending some time here, we might as well practice a bit. You never know when we might appear back on camp again."  
Ryuu; "I vote first portal we see, we enter."  
Aoi; "Agreed, things can't possibly get any more,ridiculous. But if we're going to practice, I assume we should do it outside."

Dante; "Gucha gucha, urusen da yo. (Enough with the chitter chatter.) I can't sleep."  
Akane; "Warukatta yo, kuro nekossuke-san.. (Well sorry, mr. grumpy cat..) Actually..sleep doesn't sound half bad right about now."  
Kyon; "You're speakin' my language."  
Aoi; "We haven't had the chance to sleep these past few days, huh.."  
Akasuki; "We're taking the couch~"

I guess it was sleep time now ?

Despite it being the bink of afternoon.

But fine.

"I hope you're having a good time, my children. But trust me, the fun is just about to come.."

- Hours pass in slumber -

Kyon; "AHO KA, OI !?"  
Aoi; "PUT THE FIRE OUT."  
Ryuu; "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS."  
Akasuki; "MY SKIRT CAUGHT ON FIRE."  
Akane; "KUSO AKASUKI, BE USEFUL."  
Kyon; "WHO WAS THE ONE THAT TORCHED THE WHOLE AREA !?"  
Akane; "DON'T LECTURE ME. BECAUSE OF YOU, THE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD'S OUTTA ELECTRICITY AND I HAD TO START A FIRE."  
Akasuki; "GUYS, THE FIRE'S SPREADING TO THE BUILDING !"

Fire..

Fire ?

_FIRE !?_

A scorching flame the size of a two story building, spread across the whole area, burning through any defences the building may or may not have had, eating it's way through the machinery situated in front.

What the hell.

Aoi; "Ah, Silver-san, as you see, we're in a bit of a predicament."  
Kyon; "Because a certain someone's got no sense of control."  
Akane; "Urusai, it's my first time. And you're no better, idiot."

How did this..

Dante; "Oi, oi, this is no joke.."

He was a bit of a pyroman himself so this wasn't a grotesque sight and who didn't like a good fire once in a while but the reason for his anger was mainly because he'd have to pay for repairs. And he was neck deep in debt as it was.

Ryuu; "Wait ! We can fix this. Uhh..we'll pay for pizza ?"  
Akane; "We have no money."  
Ryuu; "Right. Uh..sorry ?"

Someone needed to die right now.

And there wasn't a demon in sight.

Actually..he'd have to get back to you on that because he honestly wasn't sure anymore.

Akasuki; "You believe in love, right ?"

Hm..?

Akasuki; "Well I love not dying !"

Yeah..someone needed to die.

Right about now.

"Ara ma, what is this ?"  
Dante; "Great, just who I needed..This wretched woman."  
"That's horrible, is that how you see me ?"  
Dante; "Hah, can't you see I've got better things to worry about ?"  
"This is quite a fine piece of work, who's to blame ?"  
Dante; "This sorry bunch right here."

Another pyroman, great.

Akane; "Yadda na, you're making me blush~"  
Kyon; "Is that supposed to be sarcasm ?"  
Akane; "It shouldn't be ?"  
Kyon; "I don't think it's appropriate at the moment."  
Akane; "Silly potato, sarcasm is always appropriate."

It's actually never appropriate, but let's not nitpick shall we~

Akasuki; "I..can fix this."  
Akane; "Don't even try it."  
Kyon; "We'll all drown."  
Aoi; "It's nice that you'd /try/, Akasuki-chan."  
Ryuu; "I still suggest drowning in our own tears."

"It's still spreading~"

Akane; "Mou, wakatteru, urusai - eh ?"

That woman..Tall, muscular build..Short hair, midnight dripping from it's tips and that extraordinary red eye..

Akane; "Lady..ka ?"  
Kyon; "Hontou da.."  
Lady; "Ara, am I famous already ?"  
Akasuki; "Let's say you are, where we come from."  
Aoi; "Ah, now that you mention it..Devil May Cry..Aka-nee, that's the game you have, right ?"  
Akane; "Mmhm, explanation over."  
Aoi; "Ah~ Now I remember why Silver-san looked so familiar ! He's your favorite - "

Before she could utter another word, Aoi was ambushed from behind, her sister restricting her ability to talk by placing an attentive hand over her mouth. "Not another word." She warned, glancing towards the two adults ago who kept exchanging worrisome looks between,each other, every now and then whispering something under their chins. "You five are gonna have to explain some things. Dante may have let it pass, but I don't plan on doing that." This is why she had warned her sister not to say anything. For this exact reason. They were already suspicious in the eyes of the two Hunters, the last thing they needed was more misunderstandings.

Dante; "I don't care about that but my pizza's just arrived so I'm going inside."

"A-ano, I don't know what this is about but..um, can I get paid ?"

Dante; "Just put it on my tab."

* * *

Please ignore all possible spelling mistakes! I'm feeling a bit rebellious so no proof-reading *coughnotlikeidoitregularlycough*

Anyways, look forward to the soon-to-be update!


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